You are here

Will DH ever wake up???

Unbreakable's picture

I've been a member of this blog for a little over a week now, and everyday I seem to have something to bring to the table regarding SD14 and DH.

If you're familar with my story you know that little Klepto (SD) moved with BM about 5wks ago, and has been back with us for the last week Sad Well she's supposed to go back to BM's tomorrow, so I made it my business to pack the rest of her belongings that she inconspicuously decided to leave behind when she left. Yesterday evening DH and myself took BS8 & BD3 with us to do a little baby shopping...of course SD doesn't want any parts of it because it doesn't involve her being showered with anything. When we get back in she's in the bathroom upstairs blow drying her hair, so I didn't notice until this morning that the cap from my Carol's Daughter Shampoo (Not sure any of you are familiar with that brand, but it's a bit pricey)was sitting on the edge of the sink. I keep those particular products in a separate room so no one uses them. I look around for the bottle and lo and behold it's laying on the floor next to the toilet.....empty! We literally have 4 different bottles of shampoo in the bathroom she showered in, and she knows this being as though she lived here, but nooooo she had to have my sh*t!

Of course I'm pissed! It's not about the shampoo. but the principal of the matter. Why can't she just ask for things? Something told me to go into the room where her bags were and check her bags since she washed and repacked the clothes I'd packed, and she also decided to pack my flat irons, her choice of BD3's headbands, a bottle of my body spray, a cell phone charger (not sure if it was mine or DH's), and a few of my bracelets.

I bring this to DH's attention through text since he's at work, and his response is, "I'll replace the shampoo, and talk to her about leaving it on the floor."....huh?

So I say, "It's not about the shampoo. It's about your child taking things that does not belong to her. That is not ok, and why can't you see this? I know it's little things now, but whose to say it will not grow into something bigger."

and he says defensively, "Well it seems that she only took or used things that she needed. You know her mother isn't going to get her those things, so she's basically on her own. How much yelling at her can I do." First of all she made the decision to leave and move back with her mother (and I'm not mad at her for that Lol

I told him, "I don't give a damn about what her mother does. YOUR KID HAS A PROBLEM.....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!"

His response..."I'll buy her her own things so this doesn't happen again."

I give up.....F*ck it! He doesn't get it....or does he, and just doesn't want to deal with the problem?

Comments

Unbreakable's picture

Sadly yes he is. I hate to say it because my husband is a very intelligent man, but for some reason when it comes to this little girl his intelligence is nonexistent which is why she is as sneaky and conniving as she is.

knucklehead's picture

Honestly, I think that the other party often wonders the same thing.

I think, "will he EVER see what I'm saying?"
And he thinks, "will she EVER see what I'm saying?"

All different perspectives and perceptions.

DaizyDuke's picture

OMG... your DH sounds like mine... has an excuse for everything. SD 14 just moved in with us and the first day she was there, DH and I went shopping and she didn't want to go. When we got home and I went upstairs to our bathroom and immediately noticed that the shower door was askew and could tell that she was into my stuff. There is shampoo and soap and everything she could need in the downstairs bathroom, but no, she had to sneak and use my expensive stuff. I guess the part that fries me, is that she sneaks around to do it, she could have just asked.

So I packed up everything that I don't want her hands on, shampoo, razor, makeup, hair stuff etc and put it in a basket and hid it in BS2 closet (where her and DH would never dream of looking) which makes me feel better, but again fries my ass that I have to hide shit in my own home because of her. Blah

Unbreakable's picture

Oh most definitely....I think he needs to see it. Something has to open his eyes since my way isn't working. He continues to do what he just did as a matter of fact. He gets upset over my accusations (that he knows are the truth) and then calls to say how much he loves us all.....and Mrs Softee (me) gets off his ass about it until it comes up again.

Willow2010's picture

Will DH ever wake up???
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mi DH never did. SS is 19 and still a weird, not so nice young man. DH sometimes sees it, but usually the sunstill shines out of SS's butt no matter what.

DaizyDuke's picture

Exactly.. she doesn't NEED ANY of that stuff and if DH is so very concerned that BM will not be providing flat irons, bracelets and such for SD then why is he allowing her to move in with her?

Bascially what he just said is that if SD feels she "needs" something that she should be able to just stop on over to your home and TAKE what she wants and it's OK because BM is a loser??? Oh My-Lanta?!

Unbreakable's picture

This is exactly the point I brought up with him. I told him when she's over the age of 18 and "NEED" something that she decides to take no one including a judge is going to care about her upbringing, so making excuses for her is only going to hinder her in the future. I would use the old "Not my kid not my problem" line, but it becomes my problem when she brings her behind and her issues into my home, and the fact that she knows DH will get her whatever she "NEEDS" and than some also comes to mind.

bi's picture

OMG, you are like a ghost of me from about 3 years ago. sd moved in here and started taking my shit left and right. stealing bd's socks all the time. it was always fairly small stuff, but it was non stop, and like you said, why can't she just ask? most things i would have said yes to. it's the taking without asking that pisses me off. fdh reacted the same way. when she repeatedly took my chap stick, i told him "it's not about the 97 cent tube of chap stick. it's about her constantly getting into my things and taking them!" his solution was to buy her her own chap stick. :O :? OMG. never once did he address the issue of her stealing. i had a shopping list on the fridge every week. i told her if she needed something, write it down. nope, she'd rather take mine. then she would have the nerve to call me while i was out to tell me she needed tampons, meaning i needed to buy them for her. ingrate.

i just started going thru her shit and finding my things, and every time she had something of mine, i took it back and took something of hers along with it.

bi's picture

she also rummaged thru the bathroom cupboard and helped herself to my unopened expensive shampoo and conditioner rather than use what was in the shower, too. then she had the nerve to ask everyone is her hair was shiny. stupid bitch.