Oh For the Love
Two blogs in one day. Gah.
Things seem to be coming to a tipping point for me.
For reference, here's my other blog: https://www.steptalk.org/node/233944
Basically, DH has been marginal with his business & finances for about a year. We have a dinner meeting tonight with a potential client and his wife...a couple that would start paying us in January for our services...and has already mentioned profit share if things go well. Plus, he and his wife have booked DH and I space at a fairly expensive ($700 a piece) professional conference in Salt Lake City in January and covered our flights...to help us prepare for a role we haven't even officially accepted yet. To me, this feels like a total lock. Why would they be investing in us if we weren't the people to run their show?
Anyway. DH has been pooh-pooh about this opportunity from the get-go, when it was first raised 4 months ago. He's also said that it's "not really what we do" and "beneath us" in various different ways. I, on the other hand, have been excited and have felt like this is a real way forward, especially for DH who has nothing solid right now.
Just got a text from DH asking if he can "bow out" of the dinner tonight and if I can do the meeting alone...because he's "not up for another night of free scheming & consulting" and has had "too much pitching and waiting...too many no's" this year.
Seriously? This is such BS.
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go meet with client on your
go meet with client on your own. Restructure your business and remove DH from it. Have a come to Jesus meeting with DH= he has had a year to get motivated and make a go of his business and his "work from home". If he does not have the drive or interest in generating business/income, it is time for him to go work for someone else (ie get a job).
He has already had a year- my
He has already had a year- my point was pull the plug now.
I feel you. I'm thinking the
I feel you. I'm thinking the same right about now. Is he depressed? Had too much rejection this year? Trying to empathize...
I do know that he does a lot of free consulting and is generally enthusiastic and giving with people in his personal life and business...and doesn't feel like he gets that back from people. But this situation doesn't feel like someone wanting to take advantage of his enthusiasm and drive, to me. Seems like a clear opportunity...
I hope you told him NO, this
I hope you told him NO, this is his job and he needs to follow through with this. I would be so pissed.
If he isn't excited about
If he isn't excited about this project, even if it goes through will he put in the effort that is needed? If not then bow out, the buisness is his monkey and his circus, even if you do help out lots. If he would make a go of it with this project then give him a cone to Jesus talk about how close you two are to getting this thing in the bag and that he needs to see this through with you. Then ask him if there are any assurances you two could try to get from your potential clients that their intensions are good.
"your husband rests on his
"your husband rests on his future inheritance and seems to have a "trust fund" attitude about his responsibilities as an adult -"
Waiting for someone to die is not a particularly strong strategy IMHO..lol. If her husband is really doing that, she needs to give him a wakeup call.
1. His parents may not die on the timeline that is convenient to him. My dad is very well off.. but at 87 and healthy and active, I don't think I will be getting my hands on my inheritance any time soon. If I do get it at all..lol...
2. The money he thinks will be there may not end up being there at all. His parents may not be as well off as he thinks. His parents may end up with protacted and expensive medical issues or require long term elder care which deplete all the funds. Shoot, they may write him out of the will. you never know.
She needs to remind him that the "someday" is not her current concern.. it's paying the monthly bills right now and he isn't pulling his weight.
As far as the meeting. I would tell him NO, he can't bow out. This may not be his dream assignment, but it is potential income and as a household you need it. He may get his feelings hurt by getting told no.. but if that's the case he needs to just go work for someone else and entrepreneurship is not for him.!
Well...I wouldn't say he's
Well...I wouldn't say he's totally relying on it or waiting for his parents to kick it
He swings for the fences a lot with his ideas...sometimes I admire it, sometimes I find it incredibly annoying. I think he does feel the freedom to take more risks, knowing his parents would certainly bail us out if we got into any real financial trouble. His perspective is different from mine in that sense.
I'm really torn. I've actually invested quite a lot (time and resources)into the business as well and would hate to abandon it. I just wish that, like me, DH would take on additional work to help us through the lean times. He does, actually, take on freelance...but not as regularly as I do.
I would tell him then that
I would tell him then that while you sympathize with the frustration of putting time into ideas and then being shot down. However, this is what he chose to do and it comes with the territory. While this may not be his dream assignment, it WILL pay the bills and might lead to exposure to other opportunities.
No DH - you can not bow out,
No DH - you can not bow out, I will no longer pay for everything and you need an income...
Currently you are living off me and being a man of leisure, it stops now. We need the income and you will attend the meeting.
Update. DH did go to the
Update.
DH did go to the dinner meeting.
Today, we are having a talk about finances and building personal wealth in 2017. This morning, DH has sent kind but firm emails to about half a dozen people who have "employed" him free of charge for his vision and consulting for their passion projects. These are all friends and colleagues...people we like...but he told them he has to focus on regular income and employment for 2017, so he won't have the time or focus for these kinds of "favors" anymore.
Meanwhile, I sent an email to the couple saying we need to nail down roles, expectations, and compensation before the conference in January. They wrote back in 5 minutes and said...great thoughts, yes we do, give us two days to come up with an offer...
So...progress. Feel like my DH will be fine once he has people actually paying him for his services. I do think the protracted slump has done a number on his self confidence and his mental health.