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May have counted our chickens too fast

TrueNorth77's picture

So DH filed for COC, and although expectations were set ground-level low, DH was told by the Clerk of Courts that they would let him know when the paperwork was filed and he could pick it up and deliver it to the Sheriff's office, who would serve Crazy. DH didn't hear anything all week, then on Sat. he got a letter in the mail for a 15 min "scheduling conference" next Mon, March 6th, with zero details. Crazy got the same letter and told the kids about it. She then sent DH a message on OFW saying "I think we should go to court to have the CO modified".  *scratch_one-s_head* Mind you, she doesn't know DH filed for COC, she just got that letter in the mail and messages DH. He replied, "Exactly. That's why I filed for COC and mediation and that's why you got that letter". She said "That is uneccessary, you have been in contempt too". 

OMG. If I had a quarter for every time DH has ignored her messages. Or told her to stick to the communication guidelines. She has had hundreds of chances, and now she says it's "not necessary". I just can't. 

 We don't know what this scheduling conference will entail, but it doesn't exactly give one the sense of justice being served. It feels like the judge is either going to toss the whole thing out, or maybe scold everyone and move on. Expectations are at zero at this point and the small spark of joy we experienced at the thought of that dumb box being served by the SO is now gone.

If anyone has had this happen, let me know your experience. 


CastleJJ's picture

These HCBMs are never in the wrong, no matter how wrong they are in reality. You can't fix stupid in these situations. 

TrueNorth77's picture

I was looking back through pics in my phone today and stumbled upon screenshots from when Crazy text me almost 7yrs ago (this is when I blocked her). She initiated, sent paragraph after paragraph about how awful I am- I told her if she thought I was listening to that bullshit she picked the wrong girl, And if she contacted me again I would be filing harassment charges. And then wrote DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN YOU PSYCHO. She replied "im going to file harassment charges against you too, don't text me again! Blocked!"  

Sigh. That's not how it works.... Literally the dumbest person I've ever encountered.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Too bad he didn't respond with "Okay. We can discuss after March 6 meeting."

I swear these beeyotches have built-in radar.

CLove's picture

It just all seems one-sided against the bio fathers.

Sorry I have no advice to give, just ((hugs)) empathy.

Rags's picture

It will not be the last, at least it should not be the last. As stated in comments above, communicate directly on OFW with little info. Just "We will discuss at the scheduled court event. See ya there."   Shen she tries to communicate outside of OFW, copy that communication, paste it into OFW, then add your reply. The reply to her non OFW reach out with "Replied via OFW."

Lather, rinse, repeat. That gets all of her shit into OFW and minimizes any non OFW communication other than her reach out and the "Replied via OFW."  She can either go to OFW, or ... not. Her call. Either way, it is all in OFW. If she continues to reach out other than via OFW, keep putting it in OFW and vectoring her to OFW to read the response. Lather.... rinse... repeat.

Go in with the countless SNIPs /Screen Shots/Copies of her OFW and other violations, read every single one  word for word in court until the Judge tells you enough, then motion to have the print outs entered into the court record. BM will not have anything. The toxic opposition never documents anything. They just pull it out of their ass and play the sympathy card. 

e,g, "October 32nd 1846.  BM: You#$%( @@(*^%, you did xyzlmnop you are mean, abandoning your kids.... blah.... blah.... blah" Read in clear voice with confidence.  

In our case, prior to the existance of OFW DW kept a comprehensive journal, we saved every AOL e/m, every answering machine message or rant, and recorded every telephone conversation when they would call or DW would call them. We lived in a single party knowledge state where anyone could record any conversation they were a party to without informing any other party. The SpermClan hated that. So did did the SpermLand court Judges. But... since the recordings were legal and clearly proved that the SpermClan were full of shit liars, ..... it worked in our favor.


That is why the side with full documentation and full knowledge of the CO, supplemental rules, and State regs will nearly always dominate any action. Not that there are not shit decisions or at least parts of decisions that are shit. But.... the knowledge side will nearly always dominate and predominantly gets rullings in their favor because they keep great records and can present them in court to counter the lies, manipulations, and bullshit of the toxic opposition.

When we engaged in court actions, my CPA bride would go in loaded for bear with full documentation of everything asked for by the courts +++.  When we would provide that to the Judge and the SpermClan would either bring nothing at all, or a few paltry pages of incomplete information ... we would point out to the Judge that we had provided everything requested, they hadn't and we would request a motion of contempt be ordered until they provided full and complete documentaiton.

The Judge would chew them out, not hold them in contempt, then continue the hearing... ultimately ruling predominantly in our favor.

Make rubbing her nose in her stench your goal and make sure to do it with the facts and documentation in front of the Judge. Professionally, but firmly.  Then... share it all with the Skid(s). They need the facts. To protect themselves from their toxic parent. If they are cursed with one.

IMHO of course.

TrueNorth77's picture

Thanks Rags! If this attempt doesn't work and nothing changes, it will be made clear we are not just going to let it slide and go back to status-quo (Crazy ignoring all communication guidelines). I hope we get a chance to read the nasty messages or plead our case. 

The one thing we have going for us is she has zero other ways to communicate with us outside of OFW- she has been blocked on every platform (phones, email, social media) for 6yrs. Every toxic thing she has said to DH she has said on OFW, fully knowing it could be viewed by the courts. No one said she was smart...

Rags's picture

It is good that it is all on OFW. Now, hopefully you get a judge who can read and will read the OFW transcripts.

Good luck and take care of you.