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Spin Off on Skids Eating Habits--Dining Out with Peccaries

thinkthrice's picture

I should preface by saying that when I was young, fast food was, well just not there.  There were mostly diners and formal sit down restaurants other than the lunch counter at Woolworths.  We were taught early on about table manners, how to hold your cutlery, napkin on lap, elbows off the table, chewing with your mouth closed, no talking and chewing at the same time, how to say "no thank you I don't care for this or that" instead of "YUCKKK!!!!"  not to take more food than you can eat, no bodily noises at the table, only polite quiet conversation when mouth is not full.

This is the way I taught my bios as well.  That all went out the window when I met Chef.  They would eat with their hands, burp, fart, spew crumbs by laughing and talking with their mouths full, demand Chef cut up their food, wipe their mouth with their sleeve often then wiping it on the wall.

The last time I ate out with one of Chef's ferals was at "Friendly's" with the Houseshitter only.   That was the last straw.  The scene in "A Christmas Story" where Randy eats like a little piggy comes leaping to mind.  The constant demand to go to the washrooms with Chef accompanying him (at almost 7) seemed excessive to me.  In the years past, there were several incidents at Applebees:

1. YSS snatching newspaper I was reading from my hands (I snatched it back and gave him a look that could kill)

2. Lying down in the middle of the corridor causing wait staff to have to walk over the bodies

3. Hanging onto any rail in site and swinging from said rail

4. Sticking straws up their noses and trying to snort chocolate milk that way

5. Standing up on the table, crouching down under the table by sliding down

6. Looking behind us and staring at other patrons while they eat then commenting "YUCK!" etc

7. Bouncing around in their seats

8. Spewing partially chewed food whilst screaming with ear piercing laughter

9. Ordering from the adult menu then wasting the food yet getting dessert regardless

10. Loud burping and farting on purpose

Most patrons would look on with horror anytime we entered a restaurant.  Fortunately I bear no resemblance to the peccaries so I could safely mouth "they're not mine" and sometimes I would get a look of understanding/knowing by a particular female patron who may have had skids of her own.  We would often get hate stares (well deserved) by the patrons which I totally blame on Chef's guilty/disney dadding and the Gir's unending permissiveness which continues to this day (allowing stb 17 Houseshitter to have a GF in his room alone with the door shut--a no no in my day and age).


Evil3's picture

Your post brings back memories. My last straw came rather quickly after eating out with the SKs. I had noticed that DH NEVER took the SKs out to eat. I thought it was odd, but given their complete lack of table manners at home, I figured that might be why. One time we were out and the SKs were starving. It was dinner time and since the bulk of the SKs' diet was McD's, DH said let's go there and grab a bite. So, I'm left at a booth with the SKs while DH went up to the counter to order. The place was packed. Both SKs decided to crawl over and under the table. There were quite a few times that they were on the table. Even other little kids were staring in disbelief. I wasn't ever allowed to say a word to the SKs about anything, but I was so humiliated because everyone was looking at them and then at me because they were wondering why the hell I would let kids crawl on tables. I suggested over and over again to the SKs to not sit or crawl on top of the table, but they're so used to not ever being told anything that they totally ignored me.

To make matters worse, SS always had what I call a "runaway voice." It was like he had absolutely no control of his voice and he'd yell everything and it was LOUD! DH comes back with the tray of food and SS picks up the receipt and asks out loud, "is that how much it cost?!!!!!!!" DH said yes and then SS yelled even louder, "holy!!!" Everyone in this gigantic McD's turned to look in our direction because SS was soooooooooooo loud. That did it for me. I vowed to myself I would never go out in public to eat with the SKs ever again and I also realized why DH never took them out to eat. DH knows that I like eating out as a treat once a week but stopped going and he tried to start doing that for my sake. I would always turn him down if it involved the SKs. DH finally figured it out and said to me, "yeah, that's why I don't ever take them out. I can't trust them either." Being anywhere in public with them was pure hell.

thinkthrice's picture

skids!!!  I blame the parents, again for not TRAINING their own children!!  Same scenario at big box hardware stores like Lowes and Home Depot which we were and still are ALWAYS frequenting.  Skids would run up and down the aisles practically knocking patrons over, climb the vertical shelving, break into the demo areas and "try things out", pull the control knobs off of all the floor models.  Play race with the shopping carts.

EVERY.TIME we walked into those stores they KNEW us from the peccaries past behaviour and would play the canned PA announcement "parents, for safety reasons PLEASE WATCH YOUR CHILDREN"

BWA HA HA HA.  I don't think Chef EVER made the association but when we WEREN"T with the skids, they would never put that announcement on (although there were other well behaved children in the store)!  When we WERE with the skids and there were visibly no other children in the store so it HAD to be them, the PA system would come on as the employees and CCTV would spot Chef's brats!!

Evil3's picture

My SKs were the same in stores. They ran away from DH and were totally out of control. They'd bump people every damn time. Then, there's DH with his overly sucky nasal toned, milque-toast, "kids, don't do that" and they'd not even hear because of being too far away and out of control. They were also in the habit of ignoring DH because they knew there were never consequences. It drove me insane! DH would be humiliated as the SKs would always find some frail, elderly person to bump during their running of the bulls in a mall and almost knock the person over. I guess DH was never humiliated enough to do enough about it.

In restaurants, SD would literally run away from our table, run up to strangers' tables, stand there and stare at them. DH would lament about how embarrassed he was, but he wouldn't say a word to her. He'd let her stand there and stare while people would look very uncomfortable. SS and SD would stand up in booths, turn around and constantly stare at and make comments about their food. Of course, DH never said a word, except maybe one comment in his overly sucky, nasal tone under his breath that the SKs couldn't even hear. God! It made me sick! In his career, DH is actually a take charge, autocratic man with a very deep voice. He says what's on his mind too. Yet, with his older two (God forbid he be afraid of our DD19), he turns into the biggest sap.

Iamwoman's picture

The last time we took skids out to eat, they blew straw paper at each other and rubbed sugar on their gums, mimicking cocaine users...

They did not run around, but probably would have if they were not afraid of DH's heavy hand. His strict parenting is the ONLY thing that keeps skids from being completely feral around us. They are totally feral with the Maggot Queen.

Either way, I was mortified at their behavior, and we have not taken them out to a restaurant since that day (about theee years ago).

If I see or hear feral children in a restaurant, I will get up and leave, being sure to let the manager know why I'm leaving, and how much more I would have spent had my appetite not been ruined by feral pigs.

It really is the parents. I walked out of a Cracker Barrellast month because the mother behind us did not take her screaming, crying baby outside. 

When I was a child, my parents hired babysitters if they wanted to go out to eat. On the rare occasion that my siblings and I were allowed to eat out, we used our table manners and manners in general.

When DD was a baby, I worked at a restaurant. Sometimes I took her there to eat under my discount. If she cried, I took her outside. Once, I spent an hour sitting in my sister's car with DD while my entire extended family dined together, because DD would not stop making obnoxious noises (she was one).

Anyone with feral children should either hire a babysitter or just stay home. People that ruin other people's night out with poor parenting or not hiring a  much-needed sitter, disgust me.

Cover1W's picture

Been there done alllllllll that.

Well, the SDs have never snatched anything directly out of my hand, so there is a missing experience there. I would have done the exact same thing you did, plus get up and leave. I did that several times - just waited for DH and SDs outside because I couldn't take it any longer.

DH continues to be ignorant of parenting upon kids. Just last night he was theorizing that a "family with a strong Matriarch/Patriarch" would be a better family dynamic in that the strong older person could step in and help with directing a wayward kid.  WTF?  I told him, well, I think that it an old, antiquated dynamic and that TWO strong PARENTS with adequate parenting skills (i.e. chores, boudaries, expecations, etc) is likely enough.  And that whatever the matriarch/patriach is doing is likely done as a last resort, i..e parents have asked for their help - they don't just show up out of the blue one day to discipline the kid AND that will those strong older people who have likely also begat strong children who are good parents, and so on, the problems are likely minimal.  That ended the conversation.

thinkthrice's picture

but these days, Chef seems to be VERY aware of BRATS in a public setting and shows his disgust!!!  WOW I guess he couldn't see himself as ONE OF THOSE parents who never corrects his children--letting them run literally feral!!!  And of course you don't DARE remind him that his brats were horrid.  He has rose coloured visions of them with halos on. 


Cover1W's picture

LOL - DH does this too now.  Gets super annoyed by loud/obnoxious kids in restaurants/cafes. I just look at him and deadpan, "Really?"

Aniki's picture

I have fond memories of smoking sections in restaurants for the sole reason that it was typically child-free. I very much with restaurants had turned those smoking sections into No Children sections. I can dream!

Struggling1981's picture

I hate that with a passion it is so rude and my 16 yo SS does this all the time, you offer him so.etbing he goes yack urgghh bad mannered little s*&t. I took him along to my granddaughters birthday party at like a play centre soft play type thing she's only 2 but we opted for pizza fries etc as the kids were mixed ages I have bios 13,12,10 it was nice until skid started his rude tricks, family sat there all calm he starts with the urrgghh at the food which was fine he was being a little s&€T. HE TOOK HIMSELF OFF TO THE CAFE claiming he was going to the toilet and came back with a huge piece of cake and an xl coke so I say where you got the money he says Xmas money in my coat, I say it's quite rude he shrugs his shoulders then every time my backs turned he's off to the cafe and I'm exasperated but can't say much as I don't want to cause a scene but so so greedy !! His bio aunt (dh sister) said that's rude you need to stop and he gave her a shrug too which infuriated her then he's sat coat on 4 cokes drained and cake all over him and that was that point where I decided he will never come.out with me again EVER burping loudly ramming food in and being a pig NEVER AGAIN my bios and grandkids aren't perfect but they don't act like animals when we are.out my SIL has 6 YO Twin girls who behaved beautifully. He will never come with me again !!! Told Dh and he commented on the pig behaviour but did nothing about it so.i said from now on you take him out he's got no manners and it's embarrassing !!!!!