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Key West with Chef--What Did I Do to Deserve it?

thinkthrice's picture

At 4 a.m. driving to the airport, Chef starts boring me with his work stories (yawn)
I have everything planned out to the T
Chef did not trim his toenails so he looked like wolverine in sandals; his white, doughy flat feet with splaying toes in every direction and razor sharp toenails looked like I was in the company of big foot.

Everything was great; the restaurants that were suggested to me by STalkers here were great!
Chef was in heaven--all the BARS!!
Chef oggled a 17 year old in very short shorts :sick:
I had to inform Chef about tipping (still a mystery to him although I've explained it several times)
Chef took off his shirt on the beach (Buddha, is that you?)
Chef compared this vacation with his honeymoon with the BM! "When BM and I went to Las Vegas for our shotgun wedding and honeymoon, (in which they took the BM's BM and his BM, WTF??) we did blah blah blah blah blah blah!"

I was tempted several times:

Chef slipped on a slippery beach rock and almost fell into the ocean (too bad he regained his balance)
I wanted to push him off the sail boat as we were only 90 miles from Cuba

Chef took note of all the musicians down there and remarked that OSS could come down here and play for a living (I had a hard time getting my eyeballs unstuck that high up) I was thinking, yeah if he had some talent--but as you have seen at camprocstar.com (no k)

Coming back was a nightmare! United flight booking agent totally overreacted to a delay and REROUTED our flights to the next day. She actually put on on separate flights to different airports! Which come to think of it wasn't that bad! I got to look at steptalk on my tablet while waiting at the New Jersey airport!

We had to sleep at the Fort Lauderdale airport with that creepy wax museum-like sculpture there. Chef, as usual, was trying to take the side of the very slow, very incompetent booking agent. Actually got ANGRY at me for saying that I was going to complain. We lost a day's work and had to spend extra money on the rental car, long term parking, meals, etc.

Took him 24 hours to realize that I was right after all and that the booking agent was an inept Walmart Greeter wannabe. The other agent was telling everyone that it would just be a slight delay at O'hare (which it was). So instead of having a 2 hour delay, we had a 17 hour delay!!

Chef fried himself and was bragging about the tan on his left forearm (eyeroll)

Comments

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Chef. OMG, every time you say it all I can picture is Chef from South Park and his chocolate salty balls!

thinkthrice's picture

That Chef is much more attractive than Chef Boyardumb. And his voice is to die for. Chef Boyardumb's voice is so high, only dogs come running.

thinkthrice's picture

Oh and Chef wore shorts the whole time (even here in upstate NY) He wore his sneakers without socks then complained that the insoles were riding up. I didn't think that was possible with pancake flat feet.

tryingmom's picture

Hilarious!!! OMG, I would never be able to keep my poker face with all this going on!!!

arjuna79's picture

And we've had vicious riptides over here by Ft L. Woulda been an easy pull out to oblivion… But GAH, chef is the harbinger of tourist season arriving, he's just set the pace Sad

thinkthrice's picture

What's up with that crazy sculpture "Vendor with Walkman" that's probably 25 years old at the airport? Creepy! Looks like Chef when he doesn't shave! Except that Chef has more well toned legs.

arjuna79's picture

dunno! I avoid FLL at all costs! Much more civilized flying out of Palm Beach International. Wink

thinkthrice's picture

Because I bought him the new sneakers for the trip, he had to find SOMETHING wrong with them!

Chef: "These insoles keep sliding up!"
Me: "Yeah, they'll do that--happens to me all the time." (blink blink)