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Educational Neglect! UPDATE

thinkthrice's picture

UPDATE:   I really wanted to ignore this as EJM suggested. however I heard the expression "Educational Neglect" being tossed around on this forum before so I couldn't let this one slide.  I whipped up a letter basically stating that Chef is 100% NOT responsible for the abysmal conduct, academic performance and attendance due to being alienated via being bullied with legal threats and false reports to CPS by the Girhippo.  I doubt they will grow teeth but I want it fully documented that Chef has 0% authority over his own children.  In addition, the school district is so poor  (not monetarily) that the turnover in the administration and the Educators is high so I have to explain the situation to a new crop of Administrators and teachers regularly.

Received a letter from YSS's school stating he has missed too many days of school and that this could be labeled educational neglect.   

I have a hankering to write the school district and let them know this is all the Girhippo's doing as we have been alienated from all 3 skids including YSS by her and her clan for over a decade now.

Meanwhile the Gir appears as MOTY; working as a FOSTER PARENT COUNSELOR "guiding" others in how to parent!!!!


NotThatTypical's picture

Honestly I think you should in some way inform the school. Let them know you haven't been responsible for the childs educational responsibilities. For example when we get called that the kiddo's missed school we tell the school they are with their mother. This isn't ratting her out as much as it's letting the school know who they need to inform.

SteppedOut's picture

This. To ensure you aren't blamed (while she doesn't). Not sure about your area, but around here parents can be charged if a child is truant too much. 

futurobrillante99's picture

Do you have an attorney who can send the letter for you? Schools take notice when they see attorney letterhead. LOL

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Nah, I wouldn't lift a finger. That school has had all three of the skids enrolled, correct? And you went through this with the two older ones, so I'm sure you've already repeatedly told them that Chef is not allowed to parent his kids. That district is awful for ignoring what is clearly chronic educational neglect all these years, and so I doubt they're going to suddenly grow teeth. Just make some popcorn and continue to enjoy the show.

Cooooookies's picture

I know you've gone through a lot thinkthrice but I think you need to let go.  If Chef is cut out of their lives and he doesn't have anything to do with them, you then don't need to worry either.  It's not like he parented them or treated you well when they were around anyway so why are you intervening??

You're constantly checking on things and keeping tabs on kids who couldn't care past their own selves and their twisted BM.  Both Chef and skids treated you so horribly that they don't care if you live or die and you don't even call your own husband DH.  You're letting people that don't pay any rent take up far too much space in your head.

In the words of wisdom from Elsa and StepTalk:  Let it go, let it goooooooooooooo

Livingoutloud's picture

They aren’t married so why call him DH? He has nickname on here and who really cares. She maybe checks on them for entertainment not because she worries about them 

futurobrillante99's picture

There is nothing wrong with a person patrolling the wall of her castle keep to make sure an attack is not imminent. If her diligence makes her feel safe, why would anyone question her?

Siemprematahari's picture

If writing a letter to the district helps you sleep better at night by all means go for it.......Try not to allow these step kids & their BM to take up so much mental space in your mind.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”~ Tupac

Take care of you Thinkthrice!

justmakingthebest's picture

I would probably write the letter if I was in your shoes. I get that your DH isn't the wordsmith or the researcher, that is how it is in my house too. 

I don't see how it can really hurt anything more with the kids or the relationship with Chef. I do think it may be a little eye opening for the school. Getting it on record and in their files can only help you in the future. I would make sure that you are keeping what the school sends as well as a copy of this in case BM comes at you for CS past standard graduating age. If she can't even make sure they show up to school, therefore allowing them to fall behind, it is her responsibility to deal with the disaster of her own making.

I know that it won't go down that way, but it would be nice if for once BM's and Skids actually had to have the same accountability as the dad's. 

advice.only2's picture

I would write the letter and send it, certified mail to ensure they got it.  At least this way it's on record that this is not on you, but on her should the school decide to go the route of truant and have people arrested.

When DH got called about lack of attendance for Spawn her senior year he let them know who she was living with and whom to contact.  Meth Mouth was not happy about that and demanded that DH write a letter to the school stating she had full custody.  He told her no, but she needed to deal with the school regarding the attendances.  That same day Spawn contacted DH to let him know he was nothing but an abusive bully to meth mouth and that she hated him.  Awe so sorry princess you and your piss poor worthless mother couldn't slogh this problem off on DH and you and she had to deal with it instead.