Launching is such an important job as a parent but we read so many stories here where parents with COD just don't do it right.

One blog I read this morning made me think of part of my dad's family set up.

My dad is remarried.  The break of his marriage to my mother and his DW's were messy so nether set of children got through the process without some resentment but its years later so we all act like adults for the most part and avoid spending too much time together.

His DW has 3 grown kids from her 1st marriage, 2 DD and 1 DS.  The son lives in her basement. Let's call him Mole. 

I'm sure when he first based his adult life around living in the basement it seemed like a great plan.  The house is in a great part of the city, its an period property, the basement is huge and the parental units spend a huge part of the year abroad. 

Fast forward a few years - He has a job but it doesn't provide the funds to allow him to live a fully grown up life.  He had a GF and child but they've moved out of the basement and on with their lives.  The grandkid is in private school subsidized by my dad and his DW.

I see Mole once a year at a Christmas gathering that my dad organises.  All of DW's kids are invited but only Mole turns up.  The reason Mole turns up is that he has been told by his mother that it is mandatory.  He has to do what he's told because he still lives at home and his life is funded by my father and SM.  If he doesn't play nice, the funds might dry up.  (His sisters don't come because they don't enjoy spending time with my dad.)  The resentment pouring off him is palpable. 

I couldn't bear to be financially dependant on my NPD father and I can only imagine it would be worse if was a SF.