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DH parents out of guilty

Terri54's picture

Submitted by Terri54 on Wed, 07/31/2013 - 9:16pm

How many other SM have issues with DH parenting out of guilt? My DH has parented of out guilt for years. His former wife passed away when SS was 6 and SD was 3. SS learned early in life how to manipulate people into getting what he wants including his father. He got away with so much for so long so when I came into the picture, as soon as he realized he could not manipulate me, he literally had no use for me. He's pretty much made my life hell ever since. He's caused so much tension in our house that all relationships at this point are strained including my marriage. Any advice?

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NevermoreLenore's picture

Submitted by NevermoreLenore on Thu, 08/01/2013 - 12:38am

My husband parents out of fear. Fear they will love his ex more if he disciplines or says no. Fear they will want to go.be with her. Fear they will hate him like he hated his dad as a child.

Its frustrating. It is best to just disengage from the craziness

overwhelmed_4's picture

Submitted by overwhelmed_4 on Thu, 08/01/2013 - 7:31am

My bio mom died when my older brother and I were young. I can't remember much before my SM, but I do remember living with grandparents most of the time. When my Dad had us it was always fun stuff like chuky cheese or gifts. Once my SM came around it was more of a normal family life. She helped establish the home and the rules. My older brother had a hard time with it and created a lot of problems for her. After about 5 years of fighting my Dad finally stood up for her and my brother was told to straighten up or live with other family. It might sound harsh, but I respect my Dad for putting his wife first. My brother came around a few years later and is even close with SM now. I think the guilt parenting only stopped when my Dad thought he was going to lose my SM over it. Sad that it came to that point, but my SM is a strong yet loving woman who doesn't take crap from anyone