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Just frusterated!

sweetthing's picture

This isn't really ex or step kid related, more of a husband rant.

Recently DH took a different job in his company. He was unhappy doing what he was doing so he took another postion. He didn't get a raise, but is now hourly not salary and because of his hours switching kids have to go to Ycare after school. This costs us more money & makes me have to skip taking lunch/breaks so I can leave at 3pm or so to drive 45 minuets to pick them up again this week, because they have him off site & for lATER HOURS.

So this kind of sucks, but he thought this would make hime happier professionally. Well three weeks in, he's not really liking it. They are treating him like a new hire and this off site thing has been a disaster & his boss is out on vacation. He has been crabby, tired, his back, legs & feet are killling him ( as he has had to stand all week. DH has a desk job & twisted his ankle sunday on ex wifes sidewalk, plus he is a bigger guy so it's a lot of weight on that ankle)

So today his ex emails him & they deposited her child support twice in her account today. So she basically got double. So I look on line & see what got despoted in our account. ( This after I finally signed up this am for 401K after 3 1/2 years at this job) I have been nervous what his take home will end up being & I am truly hoping that this will not be it. Our health insurance just went up significantly as well.

Bottom line I am just ready to cry. I hate my job and have from the begining...my ex owned his own business & didn't make much so I took this job because of the money & the commute. ( I used to drive 10 minuets non freeway to work. I could run home at lunch & let the dog out if need be) I now commute 45 minuets all freeway and feel trapped because we need my income. I feel bad but I am better off financially by myself. Plus as I said I HATE!!! my job. DH never wants to hear about it. I do have lots of flexibility and the money is better than what he makes... however even the person who is my helper trys to dictate my work flow. If she thinks we need to do something she goes to my boss & brings up that I am behind on AR & we need to look at it. I am the one who has to solve the problems not her. She gets to hand them over...I wish I could. ( don't get me wrong..shes a good person, but god she can drive me nuts)

I am angry becaus I feel like we made sacrifieces so he could be happy & he still isn't. I am more driven financially & have never & would never take anything that didn't pay more.
As it turns out he got a lot more work, responsibilty & on call for no more pay.

My day is turning sucky pretty quickly.. I have my helper hounding me to work on something I hate doing & don't have time for today ( she was talking about it yesterday & now suddenly my boss wants us to do over it.. coincidence or not? Ha.
My leg is throbbing and I have an apple with & don't have time to run & get anything to eat since I now have something else thrown at me & I can't stay late because & have to get the kids, get groceries & go home & make freakin dinner. ( it is our night that they eat with us) I am tired, hungry & really crabby!

Thanks for letting me bitch!

Comments

Caitlin's picture

Of course you're tired, hungry and really crabby. If you didn't have all this other stuff bringing you down, you'd still feel off because of all those darn hormones.

Girl, I feel for you. Can someone in your office at least run and grab you something for lunch? You're eating for two remember! This would at least help with the hunger part. As far as being tired, financially stressed, miserable in your job and working overtime raising hubby's kids, I really don't have a suggestion! Hang in there, be strong, and ask for help if you can. Is there anyone - a girlfriend, sister, mom - who could pick up groceries or cook or pick up the boys or take something off your plate?

We're here for you!

happy mom's picture

your life sounds really stressful....1) i myself would find another job that will make me happy. i just can't stand being in a job i don't enjoy. 2) your husband do the same regarding his job 3) take time to relax and be together to get through this 4) take it one day at a time and work on making your self happier and do what you gotta to get there but think 10 steps ahead and don't kill yourself reaching that goal 5) when you are unhappy everything around you will irritate the heck out of you.

-happy mom

sweetthing's picture

like I am not just a whiny wimp.

I am just really tired these days and because I know DH feels stressed I have been trying to make it easier for him. I felt bad too because he is down in my neck of the woods & wanted to take me to lunch but I couldn't get away today.

DH suffers from depression, ( although he takes medication & really has it together) he tends to be more sensative. He had a life time of know one, parents, exwife, family, ever encouraging him. He is very smart, but is so hard on himself. He was the best at his position & is having a hard time remembering it takes time to learn a new job. Plus he is quit shy so having to deal with new people is tough.

Since he "divorced" his family he has had trouble with insomnia and that is wearing on him.

Thanks for letting me complain so that when I finally get home tonight ( it's snowing here...fun ride) I can be the kind of wife and step mom I want to be not the nasty lady I am feeling like. ( that damned apple didn't go far!)

Anonymous's picture

Hello. I am a 27yr old step mom with no kids of my own, yet. Things have been adventurous to say the least in the last 5 years. Basically my husband's ex is the ex wife from HELL. I have been threatened and called every name in the book. We have custody of one the oldest and she has the other 2. The youngest is 8 and her loves me and can't wait to turn 10 because by Texas law then he can choose to live with us. The middle child is 11 and she is another story. She is a big mama's girl (understandable) and has absorbed every ounce of hatred that her mom has for me. She is very on and off with me (one day she loves me and the next she hates my guts!). I recently found out that her mom told her 5 years ago that I took their daddy away from them on purpose. This is the total opposite of the true story which is that she had an affair on my hubby and he wound up leaving after several counseling sessions trying to save the marriage. To make a very long story short. I have felt like a prisoner for the last few years. Everytime we get something new (ie: our new truck) we find ourselves in court because she thinks we are holding out on her with child support. She thinks that we obviously have more money since we have nice things. My hubby and I have good jobs and work hard for everyting we have. We pay exactly what we are suppossed to pay for child support. We just bought a house and will be moving soon and I am so afraid that this will cause problems again. Also the daughter has been on strike when it comes to our bi weekly weekend visits. She has even resorted to making up lies so that her mom will not make her come. This has caused so much drama to an already dramatic situation. My hubby is to the point where he just wants to tell her not to come over any more. This is really stressful for the both of us. What shoud we do?