If someone cheated on me and gave me and my child HIV, this is the least I'd expect. Her life might look great now, but her quality of life and that of her child has been greatly impacted. Expecially that kid... having an immune system compromised from birth is a huge problem.

He's lucky he didn't end up in jail. 

He gave her and their child HIV?!

That absolutely is "severe lifelong damage." Money is nothing compared to that shadow over their lives and the absolute betrayal. 
Also, HIV makes it very, very difficult for her and their child to have future relationships, marriages, children. He HAS ruined their lives.
 

That is nothing to be jealous over.  She deserves every penny.  If my spouse gave me and my kid HIV, you better believe I would go for everything I could get.  You don't know how this may affect either one of them in the long run.  What a POS.

No money in the world can make up for her and her child's HIV status. This is horrible. 
 

Don't be jealous of the materialistic aspect of it. You have your health and that child and their mother will probably not live the life that was intended for them. 

Uhh I think your view of being envious is skewed....if you had been around during the height of the HIV era and had seen how many people were dying, children included you wouldn't think this is such a "great deal".

You have a healthy family including a responsible DH, healthy baby and SD.  Your cousin has none of those things.  Further more, the financial arrangement means she is unlikely to have a husband.  So as she ages, she will probably have a sick child to deal with alone.  She might have relationships but not everyone will want to deal with a sick stepchild.  I agree that it will be tough to watch the financial windfall if you, like most everyone, is on a budget.  You are blessed, hang in there.

how the prospect of being taken care of financially like that may seem dreamy, but that is about the only thing dreamy about your cousin and her baby's life. That man is a disgusting human being and he is lucky that is all he has to do.

Your poor cousin was cheated on while pregnant and now has HIV. That is not going to be easy for her in any aspect, especially if she wants to move on and start a new relationship and heck she probably won't have another baby after this as it is risky that she would pass it on to the next child.

Then your poor cousin's baby who will never know what it is like to have a normal healthy life. That child is going to have a rough time growing up and trying to find a relationship, let alone at a young age, etc.

There is really nothing to be jealous of about her situation, I am sure she would trade anything in the world to have no money, but for her and especially her baby to no have HIV. I really hope you can give her the support she will need during this difficult time.

And, $4000 a month doesn't make her wealthy, though it's a comfy supplement currently. What if she can't continue to work due to her health? That's $48K, equivalent to a middle-class income after tax. And $1800/mo after the child ages out, without her own income, isn't much to live on. She *needs* to pay off her mortgage now, since her future is uncertain.

Also, not sure how free health care for HIV works, but is that dependent on her employer's healthcare plan? She may lose that if she can't work. And there are certainly some financial costs to her for health care, if just missed time at work.

There's nothing to envy about this awful situation.

I was once in a situation where i was so stressed i thought the idea of being hit by a car and getting a nice relaxing hospital stay sounded nice. That, and the way you are feeling, is IMO a form of suicidal thinking. Please do what you can to take care of yourself and move past these feelings of resentment. 

I am sorry for what you are going through. With a new baby, surprise 6-year-old SD, and a BM who is making trouble, i can understand the extreme stress you are under. There is probably a lot of anger, too. Anger at your DH for being irresponsible in the past, anger at the BM for only now choosing to come forward, and resentment that you tried to "do everything right", and are still a member of one of the most unappreciated, reviled clubs around - the evil stepmothers!

I know that once you have gotten past this hard tome in your life, you will see that it is crazy to be jealous of a mom and baby with HIV. You are likely jealous of the fact that she and her baby will have peace from her ex and will be taken care of financially, and able to start fresh (in a way), on their own. But HIV. Seriously, that's bad.

You have lost what you thought was your family, replaced by this....mess. Please do what you have to to grieve and move on, whatever that looks like.

You are seriously jealous of a woman whose ex gave her and HER CHILD HIV?? For a measly 4K per month? Wow. I wouldn't exchange my health or that of my child for Jeff Bezos' wealth.

Their care may be free (which I question), but their lives are forever changed by thosw diagnoses.

For your cousin, dating is going to be a real b*tch going forward. The pool of folks willing to date someone who lives with HIV is fairly shallow, and she'll always have the trauma of having to tell her story to any and every new partner (since not disclosing your status with a sex partner is a crime, up to a felony, in many states). 

Then let's add her potentially shortened life expectancy. If she is on good treatment, and stays on it, and doesn't form any mutations that may knock out whole classes of drug therapy for her, she'll likely survive to a normal life expectancy. However, newer HIV meds have been shown to cause weight gain, and HIV causes chronic inflammation in the body. She's more likely to develop chronic diseases and mental health issues (dementia being a big one). Mix mental health issues caused by the disease with general community stigma and you're left with someone at a higher risk of depression, too.

Now, let's add on the stress of not only having a child now with a chronic disease, but a STIGMATIZED chronic disease. Pediatric HIV can cause growth delays and issues with nutrition and development. Likely, her child will always be smaller and more frail, and will also likely have a shortened lifespan (though still closer to normal life expectancy). 

Let's also examine that this woman may or may not be mentally prepared to have any more children, and if she wanted more kids, that may seem like it will never happen. She could have another child and not pass along HIV to them. BUT, the chance still exists that it could happen, and already having a child with HIV perinatally is likely enough for her not to risk it. And then pass along that same fear and anxiety on to her child.

The cherry on top of ALL of this is that she is divorced from the person who was her support system and partner, and not only are they divorced, but HE CHEATED ON HER. And that act not only broke her trust, but also started the domino effect of everything I listed above.

Look, both you and your cousin got screwed by the men in your lives making stupid decisions. I get it. However, instead of dumping on a woman whose entire life just got massively altered in such a way that she can't fix it and can only live with it, have empathy and compassion versus jealousy. This could be you. In many ways, it IS you. But, it's low class to smear this woman because she's getting paid for her AND HER CHILD'S lifelong injuries at a rate less than most people would get if the person who caused the injuries hadn't been married to or fathered them.

Basically, he got off cheap and she got screwed. Be supportive, not jealous that your hurt didn't warrant a pay day.

to your poor cousin. Wow.