I find myself wanting to be further and further away from child #1.

Remember that this is not your child. This is your girlfriends' child who likely has been through a lot of drama. It must be confusing for the kid to have so many changes in their life.  Is #1's father involved? Do you think the kid is acting up more because #2's father is coming around and their father isn't (just guessing circumstances here).  Do not take on the parenting role, your job is to support gf not parent her kids. Unless you've legally adopted those kids, and it sounds like you haven't, then you have no real say in their upbringing.  

It's okay not to "adore" the skids and love them every minute. I need space from my own bios a lot of the time. With the steps, even a few states away is not enough sometimes since their drama travels.  

Step back, take care of yourself and check out when it becomes too much.  Go shopping, to the gym, visit a friend or whatever.  You're allowed to hand over the hard stuff of dealing with skids back to their parents.  

I think when it comes to blending it doesn't matter the sex of the parents or the orientation- It is ALL hard!!!

Welcome to the group!

It sounds like you have your hands full with 2 kids and 2 exes to deal with on top of that! 

How does your SO act/discipline the kids with they are being pains? Are they disrespectful to you? Do you step in and attempt to discipline? 

Literally just googled “LGBT stepmother support group” and here I am.

I found this page when I googled I hate my stepkids.  Welcome. You will learn a lot. Im  different person than I was a year ago. Myself, my husband and even the stepkids are better for it.

Im having simular issues with my fiancee of almost 4 years, i don't have any kids bio of my own but she has 2 a boy thats 12 & a girl thats 10, the problem i have is her daughter is very very annoying and at times doesn't like to listen when you tell her to do her chores or her homework its like alot of times its a fight to get her to do it, and since she knows that im not her mom she will run with that and act up sometimes, or if i say no to her she will go to her mom and ask and sometimes she will say yes after i told her no thats a huge problem for me, i feel like the daughter uses her girly baby voice and manipulate her way into what she wants and she gets away with stuff, & when i try to explain that to my partner she gets an attitude and we start arguing, its like i can't say anything to her but if i live here too and im taking care of them i do have some say so, but at this point i decided to step back, it has gotta so bad that the last argument we had she said some hurtful things to me that i don't even wanna talk or care to be around her, i feel like its really putting a strand on our relationship because she lets her daughter get away with alot of things, her daughter is not disrespectful but just do certain things and will lie to your face, her son is a liar as well they junky up the house and wont clean it back up unless you tell them to do it & right after they clean it up hours or the next day it will be junky again she dont take it as serious as me, because she not the one cleaning it up i am, she will say something once i snap or stop cleaning up but these are not little kids they are big kids they not 3 & 5 they should know how to clean up after they selfs i feel like im a maid in my own house & its ridiculous, but it be times when i be trying to have me time or time with my fiancee her daughter comes and keeps knocking on the door non stop & even when we taking a nap she will constantly knock on the door waking us up sometimes its for nothing and sometime its for food she eats non stop i gotta hide alot of my snacks and food because both will eat it and they will keep asking for it till its gone they will eat up all the food especially her daughter she is 10 and almost weighs 200 pounds or she probably does now but she is very annoying and when its bed time thats like the only time me and my fiancee can get our time in to ourselves and here comes the daughter always knocking on the door wanna come in, when she supposed to be in bed she lets her in then she stays until my fiancee gets sleepy so once she finally tells her to go to bed im sleepy and shes sleepy so we both didnt get to spend time together by ourselves her daughter always wanna be around in our business stoping our time together and when we are out she calls non stop we can't even be on a date without her calling our phones non stop its so bad i don't be wanting to be around anymore or im starting not to care about alot when it comes to our relationship all because she won't put her foot down when it comes to her daughter its like she lets her get away with everything i don't understand why do woman with kids want the other to be a step mom but once you try and do your part its never enough or the moment yall get into a argument they're quick to say they my kids not yours, idk but after this relationship if we dont make it ill never date a woman with kids ever again its to much confusion and discort for me i do everything i cook clean home school them help them with home work take them to doctor appointments baber shop etc one minute im a good step mom the next when she gets mad im not doing anything right like make up your mind but im getting tired and im ready to separate myself, i be feeling alone sometimes in this relationship.