Completely fed up
So, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I have a child from a previous marriage. He has a child with his ex. They have been separated for almost 4 years (I am not concerned that he still has feelings or anything, and him and his son have moved in with me). The issue is the mother of his child. The reason they haven’t officially divorced yet (which he is in the process of doing currently) is because she’s a manipulative, selfish, b****. She constantly threatens him if anything doesn’t go her way. He has been so scared to do the divorce because he is worried she will try something. He loves his son very much and consistently is the only parent who does anything for the kid. He has his son more than she does and does all the dr appts, school, etc. Point being, she sucks. She will send him to us after her days and he hasn’t had a shower, brushed his teeth, and in clothes that are 2 sizes too small. Now that I have that prefaced, this next part is where my constant frustration comes from. She is constantly using my boyfriend to get her way, is never appreciative, and expects him to bend over for her any time she needs something AND HE DOES. It doesn’t matter if it inconveniences me at all. He says it’s for his kid, which i understand, but where is the line drawn “for your kid” and just constantly helping her? For example, I have to watch his son for her after school every Thursday and Friday until she gets off work (he works during this time). This in itself is whatever, and I don’t mind. The issue is that every other Friday I usually take my son to my sister’s house and we all have family time (dinner, conversation, my son plays with my nephews, etc.). I can’t do that anymore because she won’t allow me to take her son over there too while we wait because it inconveniences her somehow (it’s no further than my house). By the time she would pick her son up, there would be no point in me leaving the house. So now my own son’s routine is messed up to accommodate her. My bf wants to just play ball with her while the divorce goes through, but I can’t take the constantly having to do everything she wants. I’m literally at my wits end. She decided to pick up a shift at work next Thursday (her day) and asked my bf to watch their son. She KNOWS he works that day and KNOWS it would be me that would watch him, yet she never communicates with me. We were going to go see a movie that day and now we can’t because she decided to pick a shift up at work. Keep in mind, she doesn’t spend any of her money on the kid and I know she’s not struggling. She refuses to drop their son off with me on Saturdays, yet expects me to watch him for her when it’s convenient for her. I can’t take it. I know it will be better once the divorce is over and she can’t make threats anymore, but the interim is killing me and stressing me out. I’ve started grinding my teeth in my sleep (according to my bf) and I never used to do that. I feel like it’s from the stress. Someone please give me some advice.