Anyone dealing with a court battle?
Myself and my husband are currently going through court to keep my stepdaughter with us. She has lived with us since May this year.
Her Mom isn’t the nicest person in the World. Social services have labelled her as a liar using the phrase disguised compliancy, which means she pretty much says whatever to make it seem she is working with professionals to get them to go away... my stepdaughter is 5 and in the last 4 years she has been on the protection register twice, her mom has changed relationships, each time failing to put the children she has first, when it has been a specification from social services that whatever relationship she was in at the time should be ended and that she keeps away from said man and doesn’t resume a relationship...she disregarded this information on a large scale with the last guy had his baby and following assault on her, her house and theft made by him he’s now in prison.
Social services have not been great. They took two days to inform us what had happened and when we found out I told my husband to exert his parental rights, withdraw her from her useless school who so far had backed her mom all the way, despite my stepdaughter having 36 absences from school between jan to Feb and them failing to report it... he took her out of school and we applied for a court order, which we got, we got her into the same school as my son, my stepdaughters mom made no effort to call her for 5 weeks or even try to see her, the social worker seemed to side with her mom saying she would be ensuring that the child sees her mom but how could we do that when the mom never answered the phone or cared?
Fast forward to now, despite my stepdaughter saying she doesn’t want to go to her moms house we’re being made by the social to send her there, we are trying to make it work with her mom in terms of contact - she asked for every fortnight at weekends, we agreed and so far she keeps forgetting or cancelling and then being abusive to me and saying I should remind her, which I won’t do because I feel it’s up to her to remember she has a daughter and that she’s arranged to see her, my stepdaughter is picking up on the tension to a degree but also using it against us. She plays up before she goes to her moms being naughty, tries to hurt her baby brother, is rude, some additional stuff she does now I know is a result of her being a victim of domestic violence like bed wetting,I’m also having to dress her everyday and sometimes feed her, the social worker is crap because she is supposed to do work with her but visits as and when she feels like it so a lot of me trying to make her feel better and talk about her feelings I’m having to do based on my experience of being a nursery nurse and a brief course I had in child psychology... I’ve signed her up to after school activities that I go along to so she’s got something that’s just hers and something to work towards... Before she goes to her moms she cries she doesn’t want to go and then when she comes back she’s horrible and it is beginning to get to me. Because I have two other children and because my husband is struggling with it all as well I haven’t shown him how hard I’m finding it but I am reaching a point where although I know the end is near, our final hearing at court is November, for four years I’ve had to deal with my stepdaughters behaviour, granted not her fault,-abuse from her mom, I also think I’ve got slight post natal depression and I need a break for myself without being selfish. Has anyone else gone through the court experience or this situation?