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OH still not made the moves he needs too...so im doing it for him!...

stressedstep's picture

This is more of a entry than a blog I suppose......

After my utter surprise regarding his thoughts on the nursery, he kinda took a back seat yesterday.....

I changed his plans and asked for SD7, it meant he had time with her whilst working, but it also meant that I could talk to her and ensure she was doing OK with things, in the correct manner rather than the poncy way OH and everyone else does.....and she is, both SD7 and my BD7 really excited at sharing a room still.....which is good good good..... SD7 still has stuff piled up, that OH hasnt bothered sorting or even speaking to BM about, although SD7 told me that BM was sorting through her toys at home anyway as she had too many......SD7 doesnt feel that BM would allow her to take any of her toys back home with her (should be fun at Christmas then!)....so Ive been drastic.....we simply dont have time to be slack with this.....so SD7 had told me certain toys she is happy to get rid of, and thats what I have done.....I have also re-sorted stuff and got rid of things nobody even remembers she has, and got rid of those aswell.....Ive asked what things she has at home (she has zero books!) so Ive said we can sort some out for her to have at home too.....She also has a box that Ive kept to one side, and Ive told her she can have small things, some books, some teddies...you get the drift that she can have around the top bunk as her "personal space/area".....and told her which toys will be staying, which in fairness is about 70% of what she has at mine anyway, Ive tried to keep as much as I can without infringing on BD7s space.....she was delighted bless her.......I told OH all of this when he got home and he was OK ish with it too....he trusts me and my instincts with his daughter to be fair....its his sons he hates my opinion on, and thats because he knows Im damn well right every time!.....

So, SD7 toys have been left for yet another week......I had also moved SD7s clothes out of her drawers and moved them to BD7s room. Told OH the drawers could be shifted now....they still in the same place too.......I flipped last night when he left to take SD7 back home (he was going to his mates straight after dropping her off).....So Im forcing the issue again....this week Im ordering the bunk beds AND the cot....and I have told OH too.....Im having them both delivered to my home and NOT my moms this time......he will be left with no choice, but to sort SD7s stuff, as she wont even be able to get into the room.......the best part? He will probably be like "oh poor SD, she cant get into her room!" siggghhhh.......SD7 and BD7 are already aware that when the bunk beds arrive, SD7 will be on the air bed in BD7s room! In fact, they made a deal that they would swap as it would be for a minimum of 2 sleepovers (beds need to be painted and prepped)....AND that both girls are excited about the sort of "camping" that will be going on.....no need for poor SD7!...I have already discussed it with the girls!

Comments

MommyNotMommy's picture

I love reading this process. Your SD7 and DD7 seem to get along so well, I think it's lovely that you're facilitating them sharing and that everything is going so smoothly now.

Now to get DH on board... Lol

stressedstep's picture

Thanks Guys...I was, as you know initially against so much that was going on, but after all the advice from here, and recent things in my life (health wise) Ive worked out that it is OH that is causing the problems!......

SD7 is genuinely OK..dont get me wrong...she will push for sympathy if she thinks she can get it, by running a woe is me tale.....this is why I took the bull by the horns this weekend, because I dont get that from her....she is 7, and a lot of change is happening and whether I like it or not, I have to take into account anything happening at her own home when it comes to mine, especially as mine is the only stable place she has had from both sides of the family in the last 4 years...(BM moved 5 times, then she was dumped at her nans, then her other nan - my MIL - moved house plus aunts on both sides have moved home too)...it is unsettling....Ive figured that if I can get her through this, I can get her through most things! She does adore me, that I have to admit. Im the first person she comes to even if Im standing next to her dad, she asks me for help over anybody too....I should nurture that really, and teach her, and hopefully she wont be some vile teenager who totally hates me in years to come!..Anyway, yes, they both excited and looking forward to the change and I know they will both enjoy helping with the nursery too....

Im not sure if OH dislikes change, or if its things that are happening at SD7s home, or a combination of things.....but he really needs to stop dragging his feet, cos to me that makes things more unsettling to SD7...I cannot begin to tell you how bare the room looks now...OH wanted her stuff packed to take in one go, and this is how its all stayed.....if he is worried that she may feel unwelcome, he is going about it in the right way by not moving her things and sorting them out...I think its all more for feeling sorry for himself than SD7......

I was glad in the end that I asked OH to change the plans he put in place, he was working so it was just me and the girls....my BD7 had a Rememberance parade to take part in as she was a flag bearer so me and SD7 went and watched her.....was a nice weekend really Smile