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"little wife" syndrome grows up

sterlingsilver's picture

I was just reading some posts about how the younger sds act like the little "wife". Well it got me to thinking and remembering my sd27's last visit here with us. She is not married and had just found out she is pregos. It was just 2 weeks before dh's and my wedding and she was here for ss18's graduation and stayed almost a week. Anyhow, I took her baby shopping and then we were working on making dinner later and she started talking to me about all her dad's faults - she even asked me if I'd ever thought of what her dad is doing while at work for so many hours, alone with his clients. She went on about her perseptions on how dh treated his ex (not her mom b/c she was from his 1st marriage) and that he didn't work for years at one point (he broke his wrist and went to college while it was healing and she thought it was 7 years of recovery but he confirmed it was only 1 1/2 years) and she kept asking me if I was aware that her dad lies about a lot of things, and she went on and on and on. Later I talked to dh about this and he was agast that she was so negative and exaggerating about issues, but chalked it up to her being pregos. I did a little research into his work history and his story is right. Anyhow, I was thinking this morning how maybe she was being a bit jealose of me being with him and was trying her last effort at breaking us apart before we got married so she could keep him to herself (she was going to come to the wedding but suddenly had prego probs). He did not raise her and so she did not get to spend much more then summers and school breaks with him all her younger years and she said his second wife (my two ss's bm) was a bitch and hated her so much and made life miserable for her when she visited. Uhm, now I am wondering if she pulled the "little wife" act on her too?

So all this "little wife" stuff is making more sense to me and it seems like it might just get worse as time goes by rather then easier. I am sure glad I wasn;t the step mom when my sd was younger Blum 3


sterlingsilver's picture

They always do have an agenda. My ss18 said to me just before I kicked him outta my house "as long as you're with my dad I am going to make your life miserable". I kicked him out immediately and luckily his dad over heard that and supported him moving out and didn't let him back into our home until he apologized. Since he had to live in a barn for a few cold months he's tune towards me has changed and he is now treating me nicely. He even stood up for his dad at our wedding and I found him a kitchen dishwashing/prep cook job at the place I work. He's very grateful and humbled.

That time dh's daughter was here for a week last month her big huge 100lb pit bull puked about a gallon of food and water on my brand new livingroom carpet and she didn't even clean it up instead gagging and blaming pregnancy on not being able to clean it, so I did. Next day my pit who is a small 40 lb dog chewed her pit's googles that she'd just bought but had left out within reach of the dogs, and called her dad (dh) and made us pay for the damage. Uhm, my carpet is permanently wrinkled b/c of the scrubbing I had to do to clean up her dogs vomit.

Kids just don't see things the way us adults do, even if they're adults. They think dad and mom can dish up the mulla limitlessly for them.

Anyhow, this post was just a vent b/c that incident really bugged me. Yes, I'm glad she wan't at the wedding b/c it turned out to be a small group and we had a nice time. It was the best day for me.