Would you.....?
My SS21 came over today and asked if he could talk to his dad and me. I told him that his dad was sleeping, so he could go to work tonight. So he sat down with me and asked me if he could come stay here, with us, for a while. I asked him what a "while" is and he said maybe a month or two.
He has been living with his brother (who has been in trouble with the drugs and all) and he just wants to get out of there, since his brother hasn't changed his ways. He wants to get his life in order, and get his own place, and car.
He said that his only other option would to be go to live with BM in Cleveland. Which we all know is a bad choice. He even said as much.
He has said that he would live by any rules we say, and that he would have no problem paying something for rent,some on the bills and food too. He said this all on his own.
I haven't had a chance to talk to Dh yet, as he doesn't get up until almost 10pm for work.
What is all of your opioions?
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If he's a good kid and won't
If he's a good kid and won't cause any trouble, I'd let him stay. But establish firm rules, a set amount of rent and other costs he will pay, and a definite end date. Or you will end up like me with an almost 24 year old living with you, who pays the bare minimum to live there, with no end in sight.
It really depends on your
It really depends on your relationship with him, if you trust him, and believe that it will only be a couple of months. The fact that he laid everything out on his own about rules, rent, and food is a good sign. It's also a good sign that he wants to get away from the kind of life that his brother seems to be living.
Do you have the room for him to stay there?
I can't really give an opinion because I don't like other people living with me (sometimes I can barely tolerate my husband).
I would go with your gut on this. What does it say?
When my son moved out I
When my son moved out I started tearing his room up to make it into my sewing/craft room. Well, it isn't done quite yet.
But, when my daughter moved out I've been using her room as my sewing room.
I would have to give up my sewing room, until the other one is done.
He has said he would even help get it done for me.
(I get ya on ...sometimes I can barely tolerate my husband) lol
I went back and read a few
I went back and read a few blogs. Is this the SS21 who came a while back and apologized to you for things he'd done in his past? Is he the same one who borrowed money not too long ago to get new glasses? He's the one who stood up to MMM and told her that you and your DH are really happy together, right?
It sounds to me like this kid is trying to grow up, and make amends for his past. If I were you, I'd give him the chance, with a lot of ground rules in place. I would sit down with my DH and have a notepad with me, before I answered him. I would also insist that DH let me be the one to call him, tell him that he could stay, but I would make DH be there and go over the rules with me.
I would want a specific dollar amount each month to go towards rent/household bills. I would expect him to pay 1/4 (because you still have a daughter in the house, right?) of all grocery bills. He would have specific chores to do (either household chores daily, or yard work weekly - I'd let him choose, if there wasn't any reason not to!). But, yeah, I would let him move back in.
yes this is one in the same
yes this is one in the same who apologized and stood up to MMM.
and no we dont have any kids living with us any more she graduated and moved in with her bio dad (my ex)
Add the fact that you said DH
Add the fact that you said DH was sleeping and he still sat down with you and asked. That's shows respect for you as well. Id give him the chance
If he doesn't stick to what
If he doesn't stick to what he said he would there is always the "theres the door option". Get DH on board with this as back up! He sounds like he deserves the chance though.
I would give him a
I would give him a chance...but how tight is his money. Would he need a roommate? 1 or 2 months is a short time. 1st month rent and deposit. If he would need a roommate could take longer. He may be cutting his goal to high. I think 3 to 6 months. Good Luck!
If he was nice enough to talk
If he was nice enough to talk to you and not go straight to DADDDDYYYYY without caring what you thought, to me he's already a pretty respectful kid. I would give him a chance with some very specific, written down rules/agreements, etc. Oh, how I wish ALL skids were this respectful of SMOMs.
Give him a chance but with
Give him a chance but with rules and boundaries. He needs to launch and you can help him do that successfully. That may make everyone happy. Sounds like someone who is trying to do the right thing.
I don't believe in rent, but I do think he contributes to food and helps out around the house. If you do take rent, put it away for him to use a deposit or down payment on a house. Help him get to the next level of life.
If he chooses to pay rent,
If he chooses to pay rent, that is what I was going to do