Wish us luck! Going to see a lawyer today to find out if it will be worth the fight/money to go for full custody.
A lot of big things have happened in the past two weeks. BM’s recently “broken” cell phone fell into our possession and nothing has been deleted. To the professionals we’ve spoken with in the past week about it, they all say that it is fair game as she knowingly gave the phone to her kids, and knew they were taking it to our house – whether or not she thought the phone was broken and wouldn’t turn on, she had made no effort to delete information in her phone while she had it (Which included sexted photos) and there was no lock code. So basically the kids could have taken her phone at any time and somehow seen naked men’s genitalia as well as her own naughty photos.
We’ve gone through the texts and found a TON of information that seems to be the icing on the cake. We’ve been documenting over the past three years as much as possible. With our documentation, our calendars of when we have had the kids and when we’ve known she’s not with her kids when it’s supposed to be her time, we’ve determined MANY lies that are proven by her texts on this phone. Lies we have always suspected but couldn’t prove (excuses made to us that say things like “I’m not feeling good, can you take the kids?” then she’s texting her friends the next moment that they’re going to the bar). Let’s also add in that she has been having an affair with a jealous married man, had sex with an 18 year old that she just randomly met, as well as all the other random men who text her in the middle of the night for a booty call. There is some evidence that some of this has happened while the kids are WITH her, sleeping in their room (she mentions “I’ve got the kiddos but can sneak you in later after 9”).
I spoke with a friend of mine who is a Child Protective Services worker and she said that we can definitely prove that even if most of her misbehavior is going on when she’s not with the kids, that it is detrimental to their well-being. When she is hungover the next morning after she sent them to her mom’s for the night, they are not being cared for. The kids even tell us that “Mommy was sleeping all day, so we didn’t get to eat breakfast or lunch” – and it’s 6pm and they are starving.
The other big thing that happened last week is that DH called SD6’s biodad and they spoke on the phone for 2 hours! It was HUGE progress!! They are both on-board and SD6’s biodad is planning to also take BM to court. His issue is a little different, as he pays her child support and we end up having sD6 for half of her time. They’ve never signed a stipulation at all, it’s been all a verbal agreement, so he definitely has a leg to stand on to remove some custody from BM as far as SD6 is concerned. At one point this past summer, we were seeing SD6 more than anyone, and she’s not even my husband’s daughter. At any time when we have tried to ask BM for help in taking SD6 for a night or two more a week, she has FLIPPED out on us. It’s very apparent she does not want her kids, except for the minimal time.
Let’s also add that in DH’s talk with SD6’s biodad, we uncovered even more lies. He also said she is constantly begging him for money for things and threatening to take SD6 away from him if he doesn’t help her out. Yet let me remind you that this woman is constantly tanned, hair bleached/feathered/extensions, new clothing CONSTANTLY, and at the bar atleast 4 times a week. Yet she can’t spare the $40 it costs a month to put her kid in gymnastics.
Anyway, wish us luck! I hope our lawyer is brutally honest with us with whether our evidence/documentation will hold up against anything, if the fight will be worth the emotional and financial costs.