Pissed off BM
SO sent an email asking for copies of receipts that BM paid for doctor's visit and medicine, and she replies all in a huff because she threw them away, and thinks he should just pay ALL of whatever number she calls instead of his half.
According to the insurance records too, she lied about the amount paid, but she'll probably be able to get the doctor to write her a receipt for the amount she's claiming since she's known the doctor for a long time.
Plus he told her he's working late and will be late to get the kids, and she's angry now so she tells him don't bother to pick them up. He replied telling her he's willing to pick them up and let the record show that withholding visitation is her choice. Apparently the words, "let the record show" pissed her off because now a spew of nasty emails is coming, threatening court, and accusations about when they were married, saying that the kids fear him so they tell him things to make him happy etc.
I hate this shit. Yup, I'm the one who told him to send the email to cover his ass on the medical expenses. Why does it always have to come back to bite us like this. She gets angry as soon as there is any talk about money because she thinks she is entitled to soooo much. I feel like an ass now because I am the one that asked him to send the damn email. We don't need this shit right now.
- stepmom31's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You did the right thing! Yes,
You did the right thing! Yes, doing what's right instead of doing what's easy is a b*tch but, it's a requirement in life. He has a right to receipts when it comes to HIS money. Period. We all know BM's (cough) who doctor bills to get extra cash that THEY think is due them. I remember a situation like this with my SO. Yep, she got pissed off and I took the blame. I already know I'm dealing with a lunatic so guess what... pissing contest it is! My money is always on me! Don't let it get to you. Hell, that's what the psycho wants. Smile and think to yourself, 'up yours beast!' }:)
You know, I am up to the
You know, I am up to the pissing match, really I am! But DH isn't, he just says he's tired of it all. And he is tired, esp from working so hard, and I feel sorry for him. Me, I am all for fighting for what's fair.
I did have one smile though, she referred to baby in my belly as an unplanned medical expense, I had a good laugh, we planned this baby down to the date, and I have $ saved for the costs. The only unplanned medical expense was insurance premiums doubling.
Were you asking for receipts
Were you asking for receipts for something recent, or going back a ways? If she hadn't been asked to provide receipts before, it's fairly unlikely that she's been saving them. Let her know that from now on, requests for medical reimbursement need to be in writing and include a copy of any receipts. He needs those receipts for tax purposes, as well.
What does the CO say about late pick ups, if anything?
No, they are from the last
No, they are from the last month and the reason we had to ask is because she never even mentioned carrying the kids to the doctor, the kids told us. We didn't ask for receipts regarding the doctor because the insurance showed the info, we asked for receipts for the medicine she bought. BUT, she lied about what was paid to the doctor, either that or the insurance info is wrong.
CO says nothing about late pick up.
Here is the thing IF she
Here is the thing IF she doesn't have any receipts and she threw them away and you have that in writing, Plus he has the ins papers to prove other wise IF she comes up any sort of receipts anyway. SO if you go to court this does NOT look good on her part. Then you have all the nasty emails and threats she sent as well. HMM
That's the wonderful thing
That's the wonderful thing about insurance.... always proof.... dates, times, doctors, etc.
If she's like other BM's I
If she's like other BM's I know (cough) I'll bet there are receipts damn near everyday.
Look at it this way. You
Look at it this way. You could just keep paying her whatever she wants and get cheated constantly or put your foot down and change the situation, which you appear to have done. At first she is going to have a s----fit to try to get you to cave and go along with her BS. I would definitely request seeing real bills (insurance) before paying her a dime. I'd take a blase indifferent approach to her BS while logging each and every hateful text and message. She'll look like the bozo in court (if it gets that far) while you and DH will look sane. So hang in there.
My advice: go around BM and
My advice: go around BM and have SO ask the doctor's office for the receipts. Have him show (and give) them a copy of the court order, highlighting the section where it says he's entitled to this information.
Guess what. She's turned
Guess what. She's turned around and insisted she's not with-holding visitation, for DH to just say what time he'll pick up. Good move on her part.
from my experience, she can't
from my experience, she can't withhold an act that was done when they were married, she should've brought that up during the divorce process.
just call the dr directly and ask for a copy of the receipt instead of going through her, if they lie, you can file a complaint and they could lose their license if it's a consistant issue
Yup, the doctor can be in big
Yup, the doctor can be in big trouble for what he did. But at the same time, DH knows the doctor and the doctor has been very good to him and the kids (back when DH was not married to me). The doc really tries to help... this is a case of BM trying to take advantage of doc's generosity to collect from DH.
Just as I figured, DH doesn't
Just as I figured, DH doesn't want to make the effort now to even ask her again for the receipts, he doesn't seem to care very much about calling the doctor to verify anything (but really, why would the insurance information be inaccurate, especially if both kids went to the doctor on the same day and there is only a claim for one kid, and other claims have been submitted to the insurance since then). DH just wants to pay her the money and hopes that will calm her down from the threats of court, because, quite frankly we all know she can go to court and tell lies and get away with them, and have DH pay her lawyer fees on top of it, it's the way the system (doesn't) work.
Is $40 an outrageous co-pay?? This is what BM thinks. She is going to burst a blood vessel in her brain when she sees the cost of a doctor's visit on this year's insurance.
Anyway, it's the SAME exact thing that happened during my last pregnancy. As soon as she found out, life was hell. I really have to make an effort to handle it better, because last time I threw up every single time I got anxious or worried about something she threw at us. God, I really need the strength right now to take all of this in stride AND not let it affect what has been an absolutely wonderful week with my hard-working husband.
It only takes a spark to get
It only takes a spark to get the old BM fired up and hateful. BMs act like big bullies and hate DH because they feel worthless and entitled to everything without having to work for it.