BM filling SDs head with ideas of us all hanging out.

DH and BM barely knew eachother when she got pregnant and split when SD9 was 6mo. I met DH when SD was 1. DH are married and have a BS1. We have week on/off with a dinner visit on off weeks.

BM constantly tells SD how she misses her sooooo much when she's with DH to the point where SD thinks something bad is going to happen when she's not with BM and that BM is too sad when shes here.SD is in tears about this. BM also told DH that she wants to call SD everyday here because SD supposedly told BM that the misses her soooo much and needs to talk every night.

Secondly BM told SD9 that it would be fine for all of us to go to breakfast once a weekend so we can all get to hang out together with SD because we are all a family (no thanks!). DH told BM no and had to tell SD that NO that's not happening, that we are not all a family and especially that BS1 is not anything to BM and he wont ever be spending time with BM.

BM is filling SD head with all this garbage and makes sure to say "yes if your dad will let you/us/me do xyz" so DH has to be the one to say NO.

Any advice on what to do about calls and to tell SD how it's never gonna be the way BM is trying to make it. It's very invasive on DHs time with SD.

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"BM constantly tells SD how

"BM constantly tells SD how she misses her sooooo much when she's with DH to the point where SD thinks something bad is going to happen when she's not with BM and that BM is too sad when shes here.SD is in tears about this. BM also told DH that she wants to call SD everyday here because SD supposedly told BM that the misses her soooo much and needs to talk every night."

We dealt with this with Medusa. She would constantly text and call when the skids were with DH.

We also dealt with the "yes if your dad says it's okay" shit...and it was always about super fun plans she would make on DH's time.

We had chats with the kids and pointed out that DH didn't constantly call and text them when they were with her and that was because he didn't want to interfere with their time with their mom. We also told them that dad's time is dad's time and if she really wanted to make sure that they could go bowling/see a movie/go shopping, she should plan it on HER time, and that way she would have total control

They sort of got it. We ended up having to go to Court because of her constant interference.

Oh because when DH calls SD

Oh because when DH calls SD or SD asks to call her dad BMs phone is "broken, "has no service", or "has a dead battery".

Okay when SS5then3 would come

Okay when SS5then3 would come back all whiney and worried saying crap like "mom is sad when I am not there with her" or "she is waiting for me right now to come back" I did the only thing that I could think of--drive him by her house and SHOW him that it wasn't true. I took him by there and asked him if he saw BM's car and he said "no" He was confused because she TOLD him she was at home waiting for him and here we were and no BM. I told him that BM was probably at work because grown ups have to work and BM has a job. She works all day and won't be back until dark time which was the truth. We left and we went on with the rest of our day and I hadn't heard a peep about it since. He is five now and still never asks to call his mom during the week. He has called us plenty of times even though BM only has him for the weekends. BM used to blow up DH's phone to talk to SS5then2 even though he couldn't even form basic sentences. Calling five times a week was ridiculous, to us, for a child how can't hold a conversation. Dh told BM to start calling at a specific time and day of the week and he will answer. So here we are SS is now five and BM sometimes remembers to call on Wednesdays and when she doesn't she calls on Thursdays instead and IF we aren't doing something (like at the movies/dinner/etc) DH still lets SS talk to her. During the Summer when it is 50/50 DH will call BM's phone to talk to SS around the same time because those are the same rules BM has to follow and he isn't a hypocrite. I have a feeling when SS5 gets a phone (probably soon because BM wants him to be thirteen already) the phone access will be the same as it is now. He can be treated like a teenager in her house but over here, he won't be on his phone 24/7 because that will come soon enough without BM pushing it on us.

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