How to not worry?
I have not posted in quite some time as there has not really been too much to report. Only thing that was what I guess you could call interesting is Sunday morning we were to talk to the SDs on BM’s phone. About twenty minutes before the scheduled call BM messages in the court approved app “I got a new number and it is xxx-xxx-xxxx.” Well so then we call BM’s phone and it goes to voicemail because she doesn’t pick up and her voicemail says “Hi you have reached BM’s happy mountain, please leave me a voicemail and I will get back to you.” … SO and I looked at each other and were like uhhh… is that something dirty or something hippie… plus I thought it said BM’s happy mountains, but SO thinks it says mountain, so I don’t even know. Then the other frustrating thing is bf gets an email saying a linked email is requesting to reset their password and it is BM’s email, apparently BM made SO’s email her recovery email, but SO says he didn’t even know she did that, but we were both bothered that after almost 3 years of them not being together BM still has his email as her recovery and she has sent emails recently from that email, so odd she needed to reset it. Maybe she really needed to or maybe she is trying to just stay relevant because there is no reason for her to communicate with SO right now.
The thing I have been struggling with the most with step life right now is to totally not look at BM’s social media. Before I had been looking because we were in a custody battle, but now that it is over, there is not really a reason for me to look at her social media, but on occasion I still do. It does not help that her social media is all public for the world to see. So finally I decided I had to stop looking and was going to block her on everything because there was no reason to look anymore. So when I go to block her, since her profile is in my search history, I see she changed her last name on there. Which is odd because the last name it is, is not her maiden name and we have never seen an engagement ring on her finger at custody exchanges nor have I in any pictures or any mention of any guy. A few months ago there was a guy, but totally different last name. I know I should not care or waste any energy on it, but it is kind of frustrating if she already got remarried when I have never even been married once, let alone twice and SO and I met/got together a few months after they separated. I know I should not feel insecure about never being married before, but I just can’t help it. I know it is not healthy to be even worried about any of this :x