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SD "changed" her name!

StepDoormat's picture

Another social media drama for the week.

DH's mom called yesterday to tell DH that SD13 changed her last name on fb! He's not "friends" with SDs because it causes too much drama. But, she changed it to BMs maiden name!

Part of DH was like "F-it. I don't even care anymore." And, part of him was like "F-this and BMs PASing".

Nothing he can really "do" about it without seeming trivial. MIL said that her friends were asking whether she changed her name and she said that her "real" last name is "Maiden" but that she is still "working on getting it changed legally". Whatever.

Maroma1984's picture

My BM's name is still my husbands last name ... even though she's been married since they divorced. Whatever.

I'd let her change it ... it's such a bitch to do all that. Sorry for your husband though... kids can be such asses but it's worse when it's not your kid and you can't do anything about it Sad

StickAFork's picture


My children have all changed their last names to my maiden name and dropped their dad's name altogether.

It was incredibly easy in my state. SD may be able to do it without any ok from her dad because of her age. (Although I disagree with that.)

The drama of FB, huh?

RedWingsFan's picture

I can see my SD14 doing this because she's trying to eliminate her father little by little. I know DH would be heartbroken and extremely hurt but I doubt as though it would come as a surprise to him if she did do this...

misSTEP's picture

My son never had his father's last name. Good thing too since the jackwagon bailed when DS was only 6 months old and fled the state to avoid paying CS. DS is now 22 and biodad still has over $15,000 in arrears to pay. He never once contacted my DS until after he turned 18 and then only on FB. He is now trying to have a relationship with my DS. I made sure to never say any negative things about his father to my son but he still said that it would be "too awkward" for him to try to have a relationship now.

Jsmom's picture

This would devastate my husband, but it would be great for me...I have never taken his name since BM still uses it and I do not want anyone to associate me with her or SD.

StepDoormat's picture

I-m so happy DH had a great relationship with his daughters until he started dating me. Once we got engaged, it was completely done. BM told them things like "Daddy chose her over you" before I had ever even spent time with them!

My DH pays $2500 a month in CS and another $1000 in alimony and has NEVER missed a single payment. He also texts his daughters once per week, on principal, and doesn't get a response back. He figures that he will at least say to them: "I want a relationship with you and I love you" so that they know. We still see SS10 EOW, but BM is working on making him feel guilty for "liking" us too.

Orange County Ca's picture

It must be gut wrenching for the father irregardless of his outward signs yet my only advise for him, considering the situation, is to stop all communication from him to her. Not even a birthday email.

In many cases the child will reach out when they reach adulthood although they may be in their 30's by the time it happens. Although its not much consolation the kids usually figure out who the real evil one was but by then years if not decades have been lost.

Non-custodial fathers just can't fight a custodial mother with only weekend visitation. I'm continually amazed at the number of women willing to sacrafice their childrens relationship with the childrens decent father. Aren't they supposed to be the nurturing side of the human race? How do they so easily throw their children on the sacraficial altar?

StepDoormat's picture

Thanks for understanding. When DH and I first started dating, I was so excited to be friends with his daughters. Now, I am so resentful of the amount of his heart they "own" by continuing to hurt him that it makes me sick! I actually am at a point where I cannot stand them anymore! And, its all because they are so horrible to him and behave just like their mother.

DH said a long time ago that he wasn't going to take her to court to fight her over this. His daughters are old enough to actively choose to treat him badly. Yes, he acknowledges that they are positively reinforced by BM for doing this, but the chances that forcing them to visit would "improve" things are very slim. His only hope is that they come around and discover the truth some day. It would be interesting to see their reactions to what bad fathers really are like - theirs is one of the most caring, loving men I've ever known. They are SUCH selfish brats.

Truthfully? They have kicked their attempts to hurt him into overdrive the past few months. I think he's starting to resent them too. Sad It's sad. And, I'm sure BM is doing her happy dance.