I was wondering if anyone else is having grandparent issues? I am very lucky (or unlucky depending on the day, lol) to have both my parents and my hubby's parents live within about 30 minutes of my house. Hubby's parents are retired and my parents have a flexible work schedule so this means instant babysitter any time we need one...and at a moments notice, plenty of extra support and love for my SD12, lots of family functions for all of us and every other perk that comes with this situation. Sounds perfect right? This is what I am going through, am I being unreasonable?
Hubby's parents (GP's) have no rules. They keep a messy home, eat unhealthy food daily, argue and yell at eachother in front of SD and allow her to act like a baby for attention. SD knows how to manipulate so she uses and abuses while she is there...begging for food and snacks, backtalking, ordering them around and not listening. GP's just let this behavior go, and most of the time don't think anything is wrong until hubby and I point it out to them; even after we point it out they just make excuses for her. "It's my fault...I was teasing her so she yelled at me" or "she's only eating that pizza covered in ranch dressing and chocolate syrup because that's how I eat mine". It gets worse from there. They want her to spend the night ALL OF THE TIME. At first it was every Friday night until Sunday morning.We cut back on that.
On the other side we have my parents(SGP's). While SGP's have been there for SD from day one with babysitting, helping buy clothing and supplies and support they seem to think they have earned the right to take SD for overnight visits almost EVERY weekend. They get angry if they find out SD visited GP's on any given weekend and not them.They are going for this 50/50 thing that just doesn't work for our family. If we decide to go for a drive and happen to stop in to see GP's we have to make sure we stop in to see SGP's on the way home. If SD has a sleepover With GP's...SGP's had better get her the following weekend. I was told by GP's that I am bieing cruel by not giving them 50/50 Granddaughter time.
I tried to explain to both of them that we are in need of serious bonding time with hubby, SD and myself. We want to spend weekends with her as a new family and we need to have her with us more than away from us. Sleepovers are fine once in a while but BOTH sets of GP's want her EVERY chance they can get...and I know it's just a competition, and that is so wrong. It doesn't help that SGP's can't seem to understand that GP's have been watching SD12 get abused and neglected by BM and spent 5 years fighting the system across 3 states with hubby to get her here to a safe place. They are her lifelong family...SGP's have only known her for 3 years. While SD loves and adores both sets of GP's this situation is getting out of hand. Hubby and I talked to both sets of GP's to try to set up some rules and remind them that SD is not a piece of property. It made a small impact but we are still trying. SO..Im I justified in my frustration or should I shut up and count my blessings?