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Parenting 101

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 3:47am

If your child was caught on CCTV at school burning paper in the toilets,do you say they are grounded and then proceed to:

Angel Actually ground them,remove their electronic devices and make them do chores (as threatened)
(b) Ground them but let them keep the TV in their room
(c) Let them keep the TV in their room and take them to watch a football game

If you guessed C then you would be correct!When I said to DH that is not teaching SS accountability for his actions,the lame excuse provided by DH was "the tickets were already purchased so what was I suppose to do?!" Are you kidding me??

Well DH is in for a surprise because I went to visit SIL yesterday who has just got back from her holiday abroad and she said she needs to have a chat with DH about SS.SIL checks her son's Instagram and as nephew follows SS she saw some of the vile stuff SS was posting about stealing,bragging about trying to steal a pair of trainers (not sure from where),one of his "friends" was posting about licking a girls bits.In addition there are photos of SS with some really rough looking teenage boys with the hashtag "thug life".SIL showed me the screenshot she took and it appears a few weeks ago when SS was suppose to be going to the mall he was hanging out at a really rough estate with these boys.SIL said SS has way too much freedom to come and go as he pleases at his age and I agree with her.DH doesn't monitor SS social media and I'm not sure if BM does.

It's like watching a car crash in slow motion,I'm just waiting for DH to get the call from school that SS was caught carrying a knife because that seems to be the next step (after all the lying,stealing and fire starting).But hey what do I know as I don't have any bios I am clearly clueless when it comes to raising children.

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 4:05am

"the tickets were already purchased so what was I suppose to do?!" - You burn them like SS did the paper in the toilets ...

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 4:19am

Exactly Monchichi!I'm 100% with you on that 1.When I was growing up I would get taken out to events as a treat for good behaviour,which is why this just blows my mind.Rewarding bad behaviour and then wondering why the behaviour isn't improving.Duh!

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 4:30am

Sootica, I am a disciplinarian by nature. I don't reward bad behavior with my girl(s). I love them to bits but I do NOT give in to them no matter what I have planned. Alas this is not something we as step parents can teach our step children or our spouses.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 6:26am

sd15 was posting lesbian kissing photos with an adult woman (her then gf) with alcohol and hookah smoking on Instagram and nothing was done by my partner or her mom either. I too see a trainwreck coming down the tracks.

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 8:01am

I agree HRNYC if that fire got out of control if could have cost people their lives.The school suspended SS13 for 1 day and said if it happens again he is out permanently.Unfortunately because of the way the whole thing was handled by the bio parents and because the incident happened close to SS birthday the whole thing was "let's give him a serious talking to & forget about it".I really don't think SS fully understands the seriousness of what he did.

kalinda's picture

Submitted by kalinda on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 8:36am

Ok, my DS13 got caught taking a picture of a girls cleavage while she slept on the bus, the school confiscated his phone and called me. They suspended him for 5 days as it was considered bullying. I not only had a serious talk with him but took all electronics away for the rest of the school year, this includes phone, tablet, any computer time except for homework, tv out of his room, mp3 player.....EVERYTHING and I also gave him 25 hours of "community service". Every day he was suspended he has had to come to work with me and clean bathrooms, pick up trash in parking lots, work in the shop doing odd jobs like sweeping and such. I want my kid to LEARN a lesson and I want this to make him a better person. Everyone screws up, everyone does stupid things but it is my job as his parent to make sure to use every one of these screw ups to teach him lessons and make him a better person.

I do not understand people that say their kid is grounded but they get to keep doing everything they usually do. It just does not make sense.