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Those of you that put an exit plan in place please Help me

Sootica's picture

Condensed version I was a complete idiot & wanted to get married and have my own family.Fast forward 8 years I have zero savings,no family in this country,no friends where I live (it's the suburbs and as a woman with a barren womb I'm treated as a freak & to be avoided). I work part time but have no where enough income to buy my own place. I have pets which are like my babies & I can't imagine leaving them (if it wasn't for them
I would pack up & leave tomorrow). Please could anyone in my situationgive me some advice (particularly any SM in the UK). We have had a particularly awful arguement this evening and I can't stop crying my eyes out. Any advice would be most gratefully received.

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Sootica's picture

Thank-you for your response.In the UK pet friendly accommodations is like finding a needle in a haystack.Landlords are not very pet friendly. I am at a complete loss.

ChiefGrownup's picture

I would not leave my pets. Start squirreling away money right now. Go find the change in the couch and put it in a shoebox. You will feel empowered as soon as you do that. Add some every day, even if it's spare change. You will be surprised how fast it will add up and the more you get in there the more you will find ways to shave and scrimp here and there to get more in the box.

Try to get on full time where you are or make a sweep of potential employers around you.

In the meantime, stop arguing with him. Practice zipping your lip and keeping your cool. Agree to as much as you can and avoid everything else.

As soon as you have enough, take your pets to be boarded as soon as he leaves for work one day. Then go find yourself accommodations. File suit that day. Don't let him know where the pets are. You should be able to claim some of his assets as soon as you file.

As soon as the divorce is over, pay for passage for all of you to come home. You will be saving every penny you can during all this time. Never let up on that.

That's what I would do. I always find I feel better as soon as I do something, anything, tangible to move forward. So go get your shoebox or envelope or coffee can and fine some money to put in it. You will get a rush and it will give you the energy to keep moving forward.

Livingoutloud's picture

Yes it is harder to find living accommodations with pets but is doable. My close family member is a single woman renting a studio with a pet in London. She does work full time though

Why do you part time? Get a full time job or two jobs. Start looking to rent a place etc you can do it

Sootica's picture

Thank-you so much everyone for taking time to respond to my post. Yes I need to start getting my finances in order. DH isn't physically abusive. The reason why I changed from full time to part time employment a few years ago was because I was undergoing IVF ( we tried a number of times). I was working long hours with a long commute and reduced my hours to reduce my stress levels.