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I so want to say I told you so - but I won't

smcpaw's picture

My boyfriend finally took a stand and told his daughter that she was no longer welcome in our home until she changed her attitude and learned to stop disrespecting and being defiant and had her mother come and get all of her belongings, right down to the bed in her room. I felt it was a little extreme, but something had to change. Mommy dearest gladly came to the rescue and continued to make excuses for her... I told the mother that she should not drop her off the next time she is so out of control that she can't handle her and that her daughter needed to learn not to be so defiant and disrespectful and learn to feel remorse and learn the words "I'm sorry" and it "was my fault"...

Now, this happened before my birthday (7/12). On my birthday I didn't receive a phone call wishing me a happy birthday from his daughter (nor did I expect that I would). My boyfriend's daughter's birthday is today - do you think I should call her?

Her dad did call her this a.m. and she was cold to him. He also sent her flowers and a card. He has not yet received a phone call thanking him for the flowers and probably won't. I don't blame him for not wanting the day to pass without acknowledging her birthday - but again, she blames everything on her father and is sooooooo ungrateful.

So, my question - should I call her and wish her a happy birthday even though I have essentially washed my hands of her (told both her mother and her father that I was going to "mind my business" like my boyfriend's daughter told me to do in my own home.

Comments

Sweetie's picture

Dear Smcpaw,
Telling you from experience--don't get on the phone with your SD, that's a mistake. All you will get is a headache and she will just confront you and you will never get a word in edgewise. The best thing you can do is ignore her. It will irritate her more than anything. If she knows that you're fine, and having a great time, life is going good with Dad, and you haven't missed a beat without her, that will rattle her cage more than anything.
I know that you probably want to call or say something...but control yourself, it's really in your best interest.
Regards,
Sweetie

happy mom's picture

I would just call her to wish her a happy bday even though she dislikes you and that's it.

lylagarrett's picture

In my opinion, Sweetie gave some good advice because I too have the experience. DON'T CALL! It will only cause more grief and heartache for you in the long run!

smcpaw's picture

For your advice - I for one want to send the message that what "goes around comes around" and you should not be rewarded for bad behavior - at 16 she should do unto others... Thanks again. I'm not going to call.