Selfish SD thinks it's her right to monolopize her Dad
My SD mid 20's always wants to plan family functions and exclude me and my children, like thanksgiving, fathersday, and now 4th of july, i am so ticked off right now, that i just want to call her up and let her have a piece of my mind, the only thing that's stopping me is maybe that's what shes waiting on.. ?? please comment, i feel so helpless and i'm sick and tired of being made to feel like i don't even exist, not to mention my children.
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DH needs to step up ...
DH needs to tell his daughter she is being rude! You are a part of his life and if she wants him there, you will be there too. Plain and simple!
~ Katrina
My thoughts exactly
As I was reading your post, I was thiking what Katrina had already written. DH needs to step up and demand respect for you. The longer he waits, the worse it is going to get. Just ask a BUNCH of wonderful ladies on this forum!!!
(Oh, and Katrina.... Great minds think alike)}:)
more details..
I am still so steamed about this, i cant even sleep, about 6 hours ago the oldest SD called and left a message "just" for DH (i'm the only one who answers this phone) and asked just DH what "HE" was doing on the 4th, that her, her sister and her single friend (whom I've never met) want to know what "HE" IS doing for the 4th, and they want to come over and bbq, hangout etc... never mentioned me, or my kids... I should have taken it more seriously a couple of years ago when she told me that she didn't want my kids at the Thanksgiving Dinner at "her" house. She just wanted it to be "them".
It's one thing to feel like your invisible, not included, it's another thing to be deliberatly excluded. I'm sick of my kids and myself, having to just take their crap, I'm sick of their rudeness, and selfish attitudes,, as a matter of fact the oldest SD is going thru a divorce right now because she wouldn't let her almost exhusband see his parents, she even banned them from his office, the final blow came when the SD refused to accomodate the father in law, and then the Father died and the son had a lot of regrets.
i feel like she is trying to do the exact same thing with me and my kids.. My husband knows that this is wrong, but doesn't know what to do, he says that he'll just tell her we have plans already..
Wrong answer.
Telling her he has plans isn't the right answer. He needs to tell her point blank that any invitation that doesn't include his entire family - you and your children - will not be accepted ever. He needs to tell her that excluding you is rude and unacceptable, and that loving him as her father means including and accepting you as his wife and her stepmother.
~ Anne ~
"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other." -Walter Elliot
I have to agree with what everyone here has said
My SD (now 21) used to try this when she was younger, but my DH made it very clear that I was going to be involved in everything he was asked to do with her and her sister. Heck, even right after our wedding, in which she and her sister were my flower girls, they asked when I was going home!! She is more subtle now about ignoring me, but in the long run, it works out very well.
That isn't to say that you can't offer to give them some father-daughter time every once in a while, but your DH needs to make it very clear to his little "angel" that you and your children are part of the family and if she doesn't want the whole family around for the holidays, she gets none of the family for the holidays. You and your children deserve to have him there on special occasions, too!
marika
Did I read this right?
They want to come to your house and BBQ? Maybe I read it wrong, because that's just asking for it. Best of luck...all the ladies gave very good advice.
Yes, you read right..
So, I'm supposed to like wait on them, or are they expecting me to leave??@!
That is why your DH needs to step up
and you shouldn't leave OR wait on them. That is YOUR house, not hers. YOU and DH make the rules and the party plans.
This one is really making my blood boil!
marika
I could'nt believe my own ears!!! and it's good news!!!
following advise given here, that this is a matter to leave up to DH I never called back SD.
Late in the day, my own daughter called me and said that SD had sent "her" a text message, and she was inviting her to (get this) "OUR PARENTS HOUSE" for the 4TH, bbq, etc "FAMILY DAY"
i almost fell out of my chair, for several minutes i thought this is cruel joke, or there must be something else to it??!!
i was very confused, here my SD who has deliberatly left out my kids is contacting one of them!!! i still cant believe it! I AM Shocked and Stunned!! :jawdrop:
I thought for sure DH must have said something but he said he didn't. But no matter how it happened?!. (who knows maybe someone showed her this post??) I am so thankful that it happened. I am actually looking forward to the 4th. Mom's theory is that because she didn't hear from us, and i didn't return any calls, she rethought her actions and did some backtracking.. I sure hope Mom's right, I know it all sounds too good to be true!!!
I'll keep everyone posted on the developments, also DH and I still haven't confirmend or declined her invitation ..
If all of this actually materializes this way, this has been a HUGE step in our family! I am so happy to have found this site, i wish i had known about it 5 years ago! It really really helped me thru this day!