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I get that she is angry, but can she...

SisterNeko's picture

I get that BM is mad at BF and I (mostly me i think). I may not understand why exactly. she is entitled to her feelings after all but can she do what she is doing?

I screwed up in returning a portion of a crappy gift that she gave me for mother's day which set her off. BF upset her by NOT responding to her crazy txt regaurding it. (all on Sunday) but when BF called her Monday night to talk about SS6's check up the next day, BM didn't pick up so BF left a very nice message stating that he was not sure he would be able to make it the doctor's office tomorrow (but was going to try to be there) and he wanted BM to bring up the weird thing that SS6 does to the doctor to see what it is. he also asked how karate went for SS6. At 7 pm SS6 called him back. He said he had a great time at karate they did something special for him for his birthday. The chatted for awhile and SS6 stated that he was in BED! BF could hear BM in the background say that "You go to bed at 7 at Mom's." To which SS6 replied, 'but at Dad's we go to bed at 8, they should be the same so I should go to bed at 8'. BM just said no you go to bed at 7 at my house. So when SS6 was done talking and handed the phone to BM she hung up.

BF had told her in the message what he wanted so he just kind of left it at that. The next day he was not able to make the appointment becuase of work but BM never called to say how it went so at 8 pm, when he got home from work, he tried to call her but she didn't pick up so he left a message. She never called him back.

They have 50/50 custody (all around) so I told him if he didn't hear from her today to call the doctor's office and ask to speak to the doctor. I also suggested dropping the DVD we made of SS6 doing that weird thing to the doctor's office and asking them to take a look at it. Since it's not likely that BM brought it up becuase she doesn't think it's an issue. BF is concered that BM is angry enough to do something stupid. But I don't think she can make major medical decisions without him since it's 50/50, so I don't think anything happened yesterday, especialy since she never speaks up in thoose meetings. She just sits there and agrees. So unless SS6 did it while there or the doctor brought it up I don't see her bringing anything like that up.

BM may also be mad becuase BF called the doctor's office to get the appointment extended so they could talk about that thing SS6 does and why he does it. Again I get that she is mad but she shouldn't be avoiding BF when he calls to talk to her about THEIR son. Grant it he doesn't always pick up when she calls (becuase she calls/txts him about hte dumbest things)but if it is important and she leaves a message he always calls her back. if it's stupid he ignores her.

I think she is also mad becuase she is starting to realized that he may not feel for her the way that he used to (when they were married) before I came along he was nice to her and just did whatever she wanted him to do becuase it was easier. Now I am here to tell him it may be easier but it's not right and he is not doing those boys any favors by letting her get her way all the time. And he doesn't like her (hasn't since she divorced him) so he should act like he does just becuase they have kids together. I mean be civil but when she sends him a txt about passing him on the highway, don't respond.

He was stressing last night that she may try to get a restaining order on me (she has threatened to in the past), but I said it was fine. She can't dictate who he has around his kids on his weeks unless she can prove that I am bad for those boys - which she can not do becuase I have people that will testify that I am awesome with them and good for them. Smile I said she may get a TRO but we would have to go to court and that is where I would bring my a game. It's a stretch but the only person she could 'restrain' me from is herself and that would be fine with me becuase she would have to stay away from me too. She can however get a restaining order to keep me from doctor visits but I have not been to any nor do I plan on going unless we got full custody and were married and I HAD to take them for some reason.

I guess I just don't understand crazy!


Willow2010's picture

Aren’t you the one that cut up BM’s picture and sent it with her three year old son back to her house?
I can see why she would be mad, and you said yourself, you get it that she is mad. My best advice here is to not do something like that again to BM. It will back fire on you, your DH, and the skids.

Willow2010's picture

last night that she may try to get a restaining order on me (she has threatened to in the past),
Very curious, why would she want a RO on you?

SisterNeko's picture

Oh she thought that I was 'making medical decisions for HER kids' and wanted to bar me from doctor's offices. Which was odd because I had never planned on going.

SisterNeko's picture

Update...further frustrations

For the record yes that would be me that sent her the picture back - which I take full responsibility for my 'brain fart'. What's done is done and can't be undone. And I can't say that i am THAT sorry about it, she had no reasonable expectations that we were friends or even friendly. I had been avoiding her for months. So why give me something that could possibly be taken and misused or misinterpreted. Smile

jlmx2 - I was thinking what a stupid witch, who gives a step mom that for mother's day. lol I was seeing red all week and not thinking clearly. I have an Anxiety disorder which can result in explosive anger, that would be me being angry and vengeful. Not my proudest moment. I think part of me just wanted her to know that is was a stupid and rude thing to give me, but I should have just told her how I felt about it. BF is not helping my evil side though when he suggests hanging up what remains of the gift for BM to see when she drops the kids off Sunday, mainly so she can see that I didn't destroy the whole thing. which I will refrain from doing... to the best of my ability.

To me it's more they 'why is she mad at BF' that bothers me. I get what i did, be mad at me all you want. Does she think BF has complete control over me? I would never date some one like that. Does she think BF would take her side over mine? He loves me not her. lol And she should be able to put her kids first when it comes to the doctor's appointment.

Which she did finally respond - I'll post a new blog about it because it was weird.