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Raining on My Parade

SilentlyCoping's picture

Submitted by SilentlyCoping on Fri, 07/27/2018 - 9:52pm

So, I started my job and I love it so far!!!! But, it did not start without a hitch.  My oldest dog had started coughing Wednesday morning and it was pretty bad by Wednesday night.  My first day of work was Thursday but I didn't have to be there until 11am.  So, I took the dog to the vet at 7am hoping to do a walk-in.  But nope, no vet available until 9am.  So, I told DH he needed to take him because he needs to to be able to go to daycare while I am working.  He said ok.

I was soooo excited to get home and tell DH about my day and of course to ser how puppy was.  When I got home DH was grumpy and short with me.  He had no interest in hearing about my day.  But, told me at length how hard his day was and how stressful it was to have to get home soon enough to get dog to the vet.  I just stayed silent the rest of the night. I cooked dinner and watched a little TV and went to bed. 

So, today oldest dog stayed home.  I took our youngest puppy to daycare on my way to work.  Now DH was supposed to be working OT all week.  Well, he texted me at 12:30pm to say he was going home.  But, he was not going to pick up youngest puppy because he needed to take care of older dog at home?  The truth is, little puppy takes more work to make sure he does not mess in the house, etc.  So, I get off work at 5pm, go pick up puppy and roll into home about 6pm.  Now I am excited again to share my day!  But, I get home, DH is asleep, oldest dog has not been fed or given his meds.  Of course, dinner is not started.  So, I take care of feeding the dogs, give oldest his meds and start dinner.  DH is silent until dinner is almost ready when he says, "oh, I could have cooked dinner if you would have asked me". Really?   I have to ask?  Maybe that is where his kids get it...the need for a frickin roadmap!!!!!  But again, I started talking about me day and he showed no interest.  So, I just stop talking.

I think this is going to be a huge adjustment for him even though I worked before...I cannot even imagine what a bad mood DH will be when his kids are here....just cannot wait for that. Sad

Comments

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Fri, 07/27/2018 - 10:10pm

Also sorry that your DH is being such a jerk. Does he always treat you this way - or is it just because he is realizing that his lifestyle is going to change with your return to work? I hope that as things move forward you are not going to continue to do all the cooking and cleaning. You both work full time, you should both share household duties.

I'm glad you are excited about your job. It is too bad DH can't share in your excitement.

SilentlyCoping's picture

Submitted by SilentlyCoping on Fri, 07/27/2018 - 10:42pm

I think it is just an adjustment, althoigh when I worked before we lived in my home state and he moved into my house with my kids.  So, I did cooking 99% of the time as they were my kids.  This scenario has a new set of rules.  He works a very physical job, I will admit. But you are right, we both work full time now.  And,  when you get home at 12:30pm I do not see a reason that more cannot be done to help.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Fri, 07/27/2018 - 11:30pm

Well just in case you considered reproducing with this guy, remember how well he takes care of the fur children and how helpful he is as a partner much less a parent. 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Sat, 07/28/2018 - 10:59am

Stand your ground. Be firm. Keep your schedule. Damm him about the pets (I am sure you've helped with skids soooo). 

My ex was like this. A physical but not overly demanding job, lots of free time. Me full time 5 days a week and as marriage went on he expected me to do more! My now DH may be a handful but he's respectful of my time, helps much better or accepts I hire a housecleaner. He loves the cats and helps with vet visits when needed. He will even Skype me from vet office! 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 07/28/2018 - 12:00pm

Yeah  my formerSO *tried pulling this crap.

Funny, when we first met he "acted" like he thought it was awesome I could take care of myself financially and otherwise (maintain my home, vehicle, etc). 

But once we moved in together, suddenly he thought I shouldn't work and solely maintain the home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping...including all responsibility for his son (no authority of course). And things I wouldn't do for my own child that age - this kid wad catered to like was 5. Almost like once he "got me where he wanted", he wanted an ultra old fashioned set up. When I wanted to work or take care of my own car maintenance I wasnt "working as a team" because I wasnt allowing him to take care of those things...lol but he WASNT taking care of them! And I didn't want to take full reaponsibility for his kid... I wasnt willing to and made that clear from the start. 

Of course when I left he was suddenly willing to listen to all of the things that were bothering me and 100% on board with making changes. Funny he was not AT ALL previously. 

Don't let your DH try and "put you in the box" HE wants. You WANT this job. You do NOT want to be responsible for his kids. Don't let him gaslight you into what you do not want. Stand your ground and be prepared to leave if you have to.