My step son use to like me but his Dad ruined it.
I am 39. I am a stepmom of a 10 year old boy. I and usually a Vet Tech but I moved to a small town to be with my new family so there are not really any opportunities here for that at least not that pay more than minimum wage. So I work at a Collision Shop. I like to do art and projects around the house and I get really excited when I refinish a dresser for less than 150.00 bucks that would cost me 500.00 to 1000.00 at the store. Unfortunately that is becoming my whole life because I have no escape from the stress and heck I am dealing with with the new family dynamic. So I keep finding projects to do that take me outside to the porch so I don't feel so useless but now I just feel alone. So, at first it was rocky but not too bad. When I moved here I slept in the guest room until (my boyfriend) got his kiddo out of his bed. I just did not feel that it was appropriate for me to be sleeping in the bed with both of them. I was trying to integrate myself without too many changes up front. We lived out in the middle of no where and his Dad worked weird long hours so me and the kiddo had a lot of time together. He was fun and respectful and we got along great. He makes straight A's and he is wonderful at school and everywhere else he is. Now his Dad is home more because his schedule got better. You would think that would be great but it is not. Kiddo is horrible and spoiled around his dad and whines and acts a fool. Let me also say that this kid has been constipated for years and has an issue with eating healthy. He has been taking miralax for years ( which is not good) to help with this but it is because he will only eat junk food and bread and cheese. ( I had him eating well and drinking water for a few weeks and he was fine but that got 86'd when Dad was home for a few days.) I signed up to be his soccer coach and it was a blast. He made more friends and after some other family drama on the family property we decided to move into town right by the school. He loved it and he is able to spend so much more time with his friends and have sleep overs and sleep over at their house. I have become great friends with one if his 2 best friends moms( the twins which were on our soccer team) and you would think it is all looking up. But it getting bad. I showed and explained to his dad what could happen to the kiddo if he continues to be constipated all the time and the permanent damage it can and most likely will cause. I am a healthy eater but it would not be as big of a deal if was not have health issues because of this or he starts to feel like crud every time we try to go to a festival or do a family outing because he just added greasy food on top of not going for 3 days so we end up leaving. So his dad tries to implement better eating but he will only enforce it when I am home which the kiddo notices. The kiddo sat at the table for 2 hours screaming and crying because he was suppose to finish his dinner. It was a dinner that he likes but was just not in the mood for. Dad put a timer on it and then started taking away privileges one at time. He was out of xbox and phone and tv. This went on for 3 hours and then he waited until I went outside and negotiated to get to watch a movie if he finally finished his 2 bites that were left. I said isn't that tv and his dad said but its not in his room so it fine as long as he eats those last bites. Then I caught the kiddo trying to throw it away and his dad just said you sneaky little poo and then after he got caught he pretended to take a bite in front of his dad and then went and actually threw it away. I told his dad this but he said no I saw him take a bite and I just couldn't anymore. He believed the kiddo even though the food was in the trash and he got to watch 2 movies. I stayed out of this whole thing as much as possible because I am already on egg shells. I keep reading info that says to let the other parent discipline but the other parent doesn't. He rarely sees his biological mother and she lives 5 hours away so there is not issue there on the discipline. His Dad lashes out at me in front of the kiddo now so what little respect I had is all gone now. He has also told his dad to his face that he doesn't respect him. Not in a mean way but when we were having a family meeting about behavior and rules. The kid was just being honest. I came home last night and he was watching the movie Blockers with his 10 year old. I am tired of being the bad guy so I called him to the kitchen and said hey babe you know that movie is not appropriate for a 10 year old. I even looked it up to make sure and he said its fine. I said ok and made my salad that he had prepared for us and I went to the room to eat it. Dinner had been ready for a while but he waited until I got home to try to make the kid eat what he didn't want so the kid again associates it with me being home and then came in the room and yelled at me for not eating in there with him even though he had already eaten. I calmly said I do not want to watch that movie with a 10 year old it is awkward and uncomfortable. Then he yelled and said well I turned it off. So again the kiddo sees me as a mean party pooper. The kiddo which use to hug me and tell me he loves me will only talk to me if I ask him a question. I am afraid to ask him if he took his medicine or if he brushed his teeth at this point because he takes anything I say a another way for me to force him to do something. He only addresses his dad now and the last 2 times we have tried to have a date night and he was staying the night with his friends and my good friend he called to come home just because he doesn't want me and his dad to have alone time. So of course he went and picked him up. So there is no point in trying to do that again because he will just call to be picked up. I dread going home and I am going broke buying stuff to start new projects to occupy my time. What do I do??????????