SD18 trying to live in BM's backyard
As I mentioned earlier, SD18 has permanent stinkface because she has a part-time job right now. She really hates interacting with people - like, you know, answering the door for the UPS guy. Its just too much for her to bear. (Tiny violins playing in the background...) When her dad calls her to ask how she is doing when she is at BM's, she says "Fine. Bye." So, it surprised DH and I both when she called yesterday.
She wanted an estimate on how much it would take to convert the shed in her biomom's backyard (she uses it for crafting) to an apartment with electric, water, sewer, and......air conditioning. DH was so happy that she spoke more than one sentence to him, he gave her a low estimate, but that was still quite a lot for parts and rented backhoe, etc. Biomom seems to be in on this, as we could hear her in the background.
My response was to let DH know that SD was planning to live in BM's backyard. This may not have occurred to him since SD has him so well trained. (She had him ready to spend $8000 on an old trailer last year until I warned him of two things: 1. She has no driver's license or car. 2. Whose driveway do you think she is going to park it in and hook up the utilities to? NOT OURS!)
So, he shrugs and goes back to watching TV. I think to myself - at least its at her MOM"s house. Her MOM can deal with that BS. Although, I wouldn't put it past biomom to have DH do all the labor for free, and then she kicks out SD and rents the shed out to someone who will actually pay rent. Biomom is crafty like that.
Either way, I wish all the energy that SD puts into building a nest at her parent's expense could be put into thinking of ways to adult, and to support herself. I guess that is too much to wish for. We don't have room for shed, because that is where our future sauna is going to go. That is what I have told DH. LOL.
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Comments
This is 100% about free labor
This is 100% about free labor to BM, for sure.
Trailor pad is easier and cheaper
Sd can get a trailer and put on pad
And there are ways to "craft" a swamp cooler 
oh noo!
Oh nooo! ha ha. Only if I can pop all 4 tires so it doesn't make its way onto my front lawn. BM will definitely "suggest" the kid move over to our house when she gets her latest new boyfriend and SD is knocking on the front door needing to use the restroom while they are trying to get it on.
Look on the bright side
It's a teensy, tiny step toward getting out of a parent's house. Lol, I know, its ridiculous.
This is going to be BM's asset. BM needs to pay for it.
IMHO of course.
Of course this will likely be done without a permit so.... BM will be the one to get nailed when the county finds out about it.
If I were you, Io would make sure not one cent of your marital resources goes to this.
Totally true!
Totally, Rags. BM never pays for permits. Sheesh. She can't be bothered to follow the rules! That is another reason why I don't want DH involved in that project. She will blame it all on him.
Don't you just hate it when
Don't you just hate it when YOU can see the train wreck, but the bio parents can't?
It's a parent's JOB to raise their kids to be self reliant, productive, and good citizens. When there's evidence of traits that run counter to this objective, the parents are supposed to address the issues, or get professionals who can. Your SD has SERIOUS problems that will cripple her if they aren't addressed. We all can see it, but we're not her parents.
One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was ... nothing. I had to watch my DH's oldest kid, nephew and niece be ruined, and drop the rope on being in YSD's life when she was younger. At some point, I became wise enough to accept what I couldn't change and starting putting my energy into limiting the impact my DH's kids could have on my life long term. Detachment and disengagement have been a gamechanger for me.
Stunted female skids scare the poo out of me, because they can be such skilled manipulators, are often not self-supporting, and they often reproduce. If you think things are bad now, just wait until your maladaptive SD produces a Holy grandbaby. If you don't get some limits, strong boundaries and long term plans in place NOW, your SD will one day be a succubus you can't get rid of.
My SD has researched things
My SD has researched things for days..in order to try and get out of something or figure out how to do things with the least amount of effort possible. BM used to do it from what DH said (was bad at math so researches medical conditions that could be the reason she could t do it..instead of working on it..)
it's so frustrating. Then when it backfires for SD she just gets butt hurt if you give constructive criticism.
yes!
Yes, Hregal. Did you know that its "trending" for young people to live in sheds and tinyhomes in their parents backyards? There are videos on Youtube. I think this is where SD got the idea.That just annoys the crap out of me. Why move out at all if you are going to land in the backyard? What's the point? They surely don't pay rent.
no pay rent...pass the duchi
It probably a trend for those that want "independence" without the rules or expectations.
Living
In Mommykin's OUTDOOR basement!
LOL
In my day we would had be died of embarrassment for even dreaming this up let alone saying it out loud.
Why not just set up a camper and outhouse?
Unreal!
Fine, granny shed in the back yard.
Pay for it and pay $1500/mo plus utilities. Welcome to adulthood kids. If you were living in a mobile home in a trailer park you would have to pay for the trailer, the lot rent and the utilities.
And, it is to my design and quality expectations. After all, it is in my yard and will not be moveable.
There is a reason why we live in master planned gated communities with killer HOA restrictions. Lock and leave vacations and no leaching family.
That makes failure to launch spawn very uncomfortable.