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SheScreamsinSil's picture

So the 17 yr old is supposed to take her road test on Friday. We're in NJ, so new drivers must put orange decals on their license plates. Mom and Dad will not require that, but it IS required to take your road test. Also, 17's technical address is Mom's house, so she will need parental proof of address to get her license. (Assuming she passes her road test...AHAHAHAHA!)

She's with us this week, so Dad is going to (most likely take time off work to) take her to her test.

He's encouraging her to take responsibility for...well, HER responsibilities. So I ask him, does she have her orange tabs, and does she have proof of address from her mother? His response was that he didn't think they bought them when they got her permit because they're not going to use them. ('s a requirement, so they DID buy them.) And he doesn't know about proof of address.

I hope he at least asks 17 if she has everything she needs (and makes her list those items with a valid source reference) before taking time off to take her on this fool's errand.

Even if she brings all of her required paperwork, I highly doubt she will actually pass the road test. She doesn't drive at all with her mother, and trips with her father are mostly the 1.5 miles to school in the morning. She's too busy with extra-curriculars and her boyfriend on the weekends to go out driving when her father offers. So every other week, to ensure that she gets her driving-to-school practice in, I drive the gas guzzling pickup an hour each way to work so that they can take the smaller vehicle.

Really, they are fools, but who am I kidding, I'm the biggest fool here for allowing myself to get pulled into this mess. I try to justify it by thinking that the more self-sufficient 17 is, the more likely she might launch before I'm dead. My escape plan is that SO and I are talking about moving far away to launch a business endeavour. That feels like cutting off my nose to spite my face, unless I'm doing it for the right reasons.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just getting so tired of the coddling of the precious snowflake.


justanothergurlNJ's picture

so she will need parental proof of address to get her license

I live in NJ and my son just got his license and he did not need proof of parental address. I've never heard of that. That being said, it is NOT an easy test and with little to no practice no she will not pass. My son failed the first time for parking, yup they failed him because he could not park. So breath easy and pop open a nice bottle of wine. I doubt that kid will pass.

SheScreamsinSil's picture

The point is that AFAIK, despite my questions to Dad, I'm pretty sure that I am the only one who knows what they need to bring with them. It's one thing to fail because you didn't practice. That's a learning lesson for 17. It's another thing for a parent to take time off from work without knowing that you at least have all the paperwork in order to TAKE the test. Luckily SO can take time off of work easily. It's just frustrating that no one hands this kid a shoehorn to extract her head from her rear.

I'm not sure that Dad can vouch for Mom's address at MVC. It would be different if 17's address was our house. I know her Mom had to present something with her address, and since she can say, "Yes, this is my child," they were good to get her permit. Guess we'll find out. It's harder for kids to prove address since they don't pay bills.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

She doesn't need it to take her test, that was to get her permit and if she got it obviously BM took care of it. All she needs to take her test is her permit, registration and insurance card for the car she is driving in, the red decals, whatever adult that will be escorting her has to show his/her DL, she may need a school ID. When I took my son FOR HIS ROAD TEST they did not ask for my address or proof of it.

Noiw if you DH is not prepared or has no clue what he needs and does not seem the least bit concerned, why do you care? One thing I learned and learned the hard way is "not my monkeys, not my circus" This is not lack of responsibility on just SD17 your DH is dropping the ball. I double check and triple check any info I get from my 18 year old son and he's usually pretty accurate. It's a teenage thing and if your DH is so lax about it then let him learn a lesson as well. Again whatever it's they're problem not yours.

SheScreamsinSil's picture

I know, I know, it isn't my problem. You're 100% right. And aside from the one reminder, I haven't said another word. (Which is probably why I'm venting here.)

That's good that they don't want the kids to prove their identity again. You'd think that doing so for the permit would be sufficient,'s NEW JERSEY. LOL!

On a side note--Did you know that it just became officially illegal to have sex with animals here?? Now THAT one I thought was stupid, until I heard that there was a Moorestown cop who was having sex with cows and they couldn't charge him because they couldn't prove that the cows were harmed. Guess Bessy didn't want to testify.

Ouch on the insurance! 17 has no job and no car, so she will be added to Mom or Dad's policy for now.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

lol Sex with animal's, SMFH.

NOPE NADA NOT HAPPENING. My son was told from the rip if he wants a car he was going to be footing the bill. I am not responsible by law to provide a car or insurance. Driving is a privilege and if you want the privilege YOU have to pay for it. And he does. I'm lucky like that. I RAISED them. I am sure when the SS's are older enough to drive BM will expect SO to foot the bill. But not my monkeys not my circus.

classyNJ's picture

:jawdrop: I thought the no having sex with animals only applied to the South Philly guys LOL

SheScreamsinSil's picture

And TBH, yes, I'd prefer she didn't become an official driver for a bit because when she DOES, I will then need to notify my insurance company and list her as an excluded driver. I will be pissed if my insurance goes up, even though she's excluded.

SheScreamsinSil's picture

JustanothergurlNJ...if you don't mind my asking, what was your insurance hit? I think SO said it would cost $470 to add her to his policy for his car with the 200K+ miles on it.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

On a yearly basis, my insurance went from about 657.00 a year to about 2100.00 a year. That's with good grade discount, driving lesson discount and some other certificate from the schools drivers ed teacher. His car is a 1998 Oldsmobile it's got over 100k miles on it. He pays for it himself he is just on my policy because on his on it would have been unattainable.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Where do live? I'm moving there!!! NJ is one of the if not the highest place to get get car insurance.