Why can't they say no?
Why can't these guys say no to BM or the Skids? They sure can say no to us! If it's guilt then why don't they feel guilt for bringing us into the dysfunction?
Is it really as simple as guilt and fear? And if it is why the hell can't they get past it after YEARS? And if they're afraid of BM witholding the skids or turning them against them, do they mean more than the current level? Do the BMs and skids ever actually play nice when they get their demands met or do they just make more demands?
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Do the BMs and skids ever
Oh, I've got this one. More demands.
How is it so obvious to us
How is it so obvious to us and not them?
"Ah I didn't rock the boat, but the price to keep the boat from rocking keeps getting higher."
We see it because we are
We see it because we are outside the situation. Clearly, these men were with BM for whatever reason for whatever length of time. They were drawn to that dysfunction and lived in it for however long so they don't see an issue with that dynamic.
100% They think it is what
100% They think it is what the HAVE to do... not seeing the damaging they are doing from their past life (meaning HCBM) to their "new" life.
Because
Because "Sparents are the adults"
Because "SParents are there for supporting and doing and helping, forget about what we want or think, we arent the PARENTS".
Toxic Troll asks and makes demands, and DH caves or not depending on the situation.Last year, the month before spousal support was ending, TT wanted Dh to work on hr car. He told her "its not good for my marriage" Throwing me in there caused her to really lash out, andshe threatened to take him back to court and up the spousal support and child support.
Even knowing the threats were bs, he still worked on the car so that TT could do transport of child safely. I was fine with it. Its only for a few years, and when the child ages out of visitation schedules and hopefully is driving, he wont have to worry about working on her car (right now its running fine, but in a few years who knows chuckle chuckle)
When SD22 Feral Forger asked to move in with us, because she was arguing with TT, he told her not so much "no" but "you will have same issues with us and you need to make things work with CLove'. Crickets. And then a nasty text (her number is now blocked, filed under the name a$$hole stepkid)
Luckily Sd15.5 isnt too bad about her asks. But she does get a bit quiet when se doesnt get her way on something.
Oh, oh, I know this one!!!
Oh, oh, I know this one!!!
I asked my DH, "Why is it okay to say no to me and not BioHo when you know it ticks me off?"
His answer, "Because you're so forgiving, baby."
I gave him the hairy eyeball for a good minute before stating, "DH, my forgiveness well is damn near empty and a p!ssed off Aniki is NOT something you want to see."
Pretty sure I heard the pop of his head dislodging from his hiney as I stalked away. *diablo*
That reply is enough to set
That reply is enough to set anyone off!
Why can't these guys say no
Why can't these guys say no to BM or the Skids?
Probably because they did say no at one point and it cost them either their marriage, a sh@t ton of money, or their child/ren
Do the BMs and skids ever actually play nice when they get their demands met or do they just make more demands?
NO they don't and YES they do!
My DBF
My DBF said he's not afraid of BM trying to take SD12 away because it would never hold up in court. But yet, BM gets away with breaking boundaries and SD12 gets away with acting like a baby. When anyone else figures this out, let me know... *Shrugs*