Shortest conversation
DH: I'm about to tell BM to go eff herself. She gets a lot of CS why is she always asking for more money all the time?
Me: You don't get anything unless you ask and you always give it to her so she keeps asking.
DH: ....
So do you want to watch Ozark?
- SeeYouNever's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Laughing
Yeah, that worked with our BM, too. Always whining for more $ then trashing us. It only stopped when all 3 kids moved in.
Lol my DH gave BM extra money
Lol my DH gave BM extra money for stuff when they were going through their custody battle because our attorney recommended it to appear "amicable." The second court was done and we had a new order in place, DH stopped giving BM more money. He flat out told her that she gets her CS and that is all he would be giving her. She of course threw a tantrum, but she has never asked for more money since because she knows we aren't going to give it to her.
Maybe the lightbulb went off.
Maybe the lightbulb went off... I am on episode 4 of Ozark. It's my 2nd fav show of all time haha. Breaking bad will always be #1.
Ozark is so well written I
Ozark is so well written I love it.
Stray animals usually stop
Stray animals usually stop coming around if you stop feeding them.
I'm saying this the next time
I'm saying this the next time he complains about BM asking for money.
I don't understand. If a dh's
I don't understand. If a dh's income is household income why don't you have more say in whether or not he gives extra money to BM? Not that my method is the best, but we have gone over household expenses and nixed anything extra to BM as well as expensive gifts for skid. DH would sure have a lot to say if I were spending hundreds extra a month on beauty treatments also because that would take away from our household and our savings. And we are not struggling by any means, we just have family financial goals. So I just don't understand spouses that have no/little say in extras flying out the door every month.
We have separate finances and
We have separate finances and he doesn't mention it to me until after the fact. Usually he just gives her what she asks for.
This is one of those problems that he created and only he can fix. I'd love to know when she hits him up for more money but if he doesn't say anything then I don't. Not sure if I can do anything about this other than ask on payday for the expenses for our kids so I get it before BM asks.
This is the right thing to do
On his pay day, get him to transfer all his contribution to shared bills and expenses for your shared kids. He can then do what he likes with what he has left after fulfilling his obiligations.
One of the stepmums here posted a while back that
The exwife always had her nails and hair done, new clothes yet kids came over to dads eith thift shop type clothes, no their size like too big or too small and holes in them. Then she would shove her electric bill in kids schoolbag and have them guilt daddy into paying her electricity.
she was treating cs like alimony to go on shopping sprees when they were strictly for basic essentials of the kids
Reminds me of the saying "buy
Reminds me of the saying "buy what you want, beg for what you need." Seems to be the mantra of those that live off of other people's money.
Time to have a discussion
Even when you have separate finances, they are still considered marital assets. So whats mine is his etc...
So basically thats your money hes spending...
Bingo. Separate finances is a
Bingo. Separate finances is a misnomer and really means "separate piles of unallocated money". Bills, obligations, savings, retirement, joint projects, debts, financial goals - those need to be budgeted and paid for upfront. Whatever is left over - which may not be a lot - can be separate to ease tension about where "fun money" is going.
So long as two people are legally bound to one another, they can't have truly separate finances because liabilities and assets don't work that way.