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More Stepmother Musings

secondplace's picture

Sometimes as BM's, we tend to bash our own kid's stepmothers.

How many of them do you think are on this site bashing us and our children?

I'm not asking this because of my own situation. But think of it....I have two children who have a stepmother, I am a stepmother, the BM in my life is a stepmother. There's potentially a lot of "anonymous" bashing going here. And the funny part is: what if you were bashing your BM and she commented on your post what a piece of sh*t she was, not knowing you were talking about her?


QueenBeau's picture

I sometimes PRAY BM will find this site. Because I refuse to engage her, but I would love for her to see what I & everyone else thinks of her & those like her.

However, BM will never be a SM because nobody will even DATE her let alone marry her.

itsmylifetoo's picture

I wonder about that sometimes, and I try to delete blogs so there isn't a long history of bitching about her crazy if she does find this place.

Anon2009's picture

My sks bm has been "engaged" to men with kids. I don't think she's ever met said kids (at least I hope not).

She's not the most adept person at technology so it's unlikely she'll ever be here.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I have to say, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the BM's bashed me, and I probably deserve it, but I ADORE my son's stepmother. She's not "technically" his stepmother. She's his biological father's wife, but his bio father has no legal rights to him. He's adopted. However, his bio father has remained a part of his life, and now that DS14 is older, he flies down to stay with his dad and stepmom every summer. It has always been up to him, his level of involvement.

She and I are very different. We live very differently. We don't have much in common. My son adores her. She adores him right back, and she treats him as if he were her own. She's a down to Earth, regular human being. She has never caused me a lick of stress over anything. Everyone should be so lucky in their former partner's choice of partners when they move on. He'll probably go down there where they live and go to college in their state.

I say that, but I'll also say, when my son is there, if he wants to talk, he calls me. I don't bug his stepmom or his dad. I don't send a laundry list of crap for them. She has already got a teenage daughter (well, she's an adult now) and they've got a boy a few years younger than mine. She doesn't need my input. Neither does his dad. If they have a question or issue or problem, I assume I will get a call or an email. Other than that, I put the kid on the plane with whatever he needs. They send him back with whatever he needs. We split the cost of the trip. Then when he's here he's my responsibility and when he's there he's their responsibility.

Lalena75's picture

I've waited to see it, but I've also reiterated to my kids that even though they may not always agree with her, or like her they will respect her at least as an adult.
She however does many things that lose their respect, part of if it directly at the encouragement and participation of their dad. Heck I'd rather deal with her than him.
Right now he's screwed up BIG time in the eyes of the kids and almost bragged about screwing them out of support all while he whined about being broke because he quit his job then handed his gf a huge wad of cash. Picked up one kid but not the other because her job was 2 blocks out of his way home and his gf needed the car AFTER he picked up one kid.
It breaks my heart for my kids. I know she does encourage him to hurt me, but since I don't give any fucks she only hurts my kids by what she encourages of their dad. Let her come bitch I'll remind her it's her own damn fault because my kids liked her and I encouraged that. Now she'll get minimal support from me to encourage base civility and the same respect you would sow a stranger. That's much better any way then a lot of us here get.

lil_lady's picture

I would 100% love for BM to find me on here maybe she would take a step back and do some evaluating... She recently started dating a guy with kids so you never know. However, lately every time I question my reasoning I come on here and everyone seems to agree she is all kinds of crazy! The only thing I might be worried about is court and if she could use anything which I don't think she could. She would just have to sit at home steaming having to keep to herself that she is a psycho unstable BM.