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is it wrong

schicky97's picture

to want to write bm a letter and tell her what a manipulative hag she is, and tell her all the things that are on my mind? I want to tell her so much including to keep in mind she has NO legal rights to oldest daughter and to watch herself or we can take some visits away...(I wouldnt do that to the child) but I want to threaten her with it.
Not only is she the EX from HELL, but now she actually had the oldest ask if he was different when Im around...as if he actually wants to be on the phone with her until I step out...I think it was an attempt to further alienate sd and myself...
should i write the letter? and of course he says no

Comments

Kes's picture

I have been tempted SO many times to write such a letter, but have always decided not to do it, as in the end, it would put me in a weaker position regarding the vile BM. I think you should weigh up what the consequences might be if you sent the letter - if life is going to be worse for you, then just write it but don't send it, keep it, and add to it at intervals all the horrible things she does, tell yourself you will send it one day.
However, if you think it might actually do some good to send it then go ahead. Maybe she SHOULD be told how you feel.

RaeRae's picture

Wow... that is an interesting site. I may contribute one day. Those letters are painful and so sad.

alwaysanxious's picture

Its not wrong to want to. Just don't do it. You'll only make your life worse. Make it fun and write it and post it here.

mom2five's picture

Write the letter. Then burn it or tear it up and throw it away. Why give her something she can use against you? Why give her something that she might show to her daughter in order to look like a victim?

And most importantly, do you really think she cares what you think? It might make you feel better, but it won't change her behavior.

Auteur's picture

It's a big waste of breath. The most pathetic, horrendous BMs think they are "mother of the decade" and nothing will convince them otherwise, ESPECIALLY NOT a letter from a long suffering as a result of their piss poor parenting SM.

Witness the BEHEMOTH!!! Officially known as "mother of the decades, CPS worker, professional victim and phoenix who rose from the ashes of divorce"

Jsmom's picture

It is a huge waste of your time. Do not communicate with her. I did and only through a letter after she involved my child in one of her manipulation and lies with SS. Devastated my son completely, so I did and everything came out. Funny thing was she was in process with SD to sue us at the time for CO modification. Got to mediation and the letter was never brought up. It was sent back to us with notes on it from her from her discovery. But, never spoken of again. The notes were things like I had no maternal instinct towards her children. Hell if I had, she would have complained about it.

I think the reason it never was discussed after the original phone call to my husband about my communicating with her, was because everything in it was accurate and she knew if it was brought up, she would really be up a creek with the mediator. She seriously had screwed up.

If you want to read the 4 page letter, it is in my blog from last year, honestly I did feel better having written it, but it served no purpose. She is still trying to manipulate everyone. Funny thing is now, SS12 sees it for himself. He actually called her the "Nice Dictator" the other day after another one of her stunts.

Write and wait to send it for several days. Send it don't send it up to you. But, it will probably not help with her behavior. Nothing does...

ConfusedStep's picture

Like others have said, it's not wrong to want to, but don't. I doubt anything good will come from you sending that letter. All you'll be is "mean 'ole SM".
If you want to "let it all out", write it down, post it here and destroy the hard copy. You don't want anyone to find it or for it to accidentally get delivered to her. Could be disastrous.