Is DH strong enough to withstand the pressure from his adult kids?
So I have to hand it to DH. He's actually been cutting down on giving our money to his 5 adult children. I can see how hard it has been for him to turn down their incessant requests for money, but he's been strong. So far.
But, like any addiction, it's a slippery slope and getting more slippery all the time.
The cocaine-addict SD18 keeps trying. Addicts are the best manipulators on the planet. First it's her car battery. "But I can't get to work!" Somehow she got to work. Then it's that she needs a cell phone. "I have to call work!". So how did she make the call? Then she raises the stakes. "I need $17 for Monistat!" Then she leaves her job and goes on a trip. I expect the next call to be "I am out of gas and need to get home to work!" What work??
Now the alcoholic pothead SS21 is in trouble again. He's currently on parole in another state for assult & battery. Seems he and his druggie roommates didn't pay the bills and the power and water were shut off (DH didn't bail him out).
-Then his bike that he rides to work got stolen (DH didn't bail him out). The brainiac then stole another bike from a convenience store, only to return with the bike to the same convenience store a week later at which time the bike was recognized and he had to hand it back to the real owner.
-Then he needed money for court-mandated Anger Management class (DH didn't send money).
-Then he needed $600 for court costs so he could attend a cousin's wedding in another state (DH didn't pay).
NOW he's lost his minimum-wage job too. Seems he just couldn't get to work on time and they fired him. Well, DUUHHHH! So SS21 tells DH that he "wants to end it all." I guess that's the threat of last resort, huh? If those words don't result in some fast cash, then nothing will.
Now DH is in a tizzy. He's so accustomed to rescuing his adult kids from their stupidness and playing hero. His little baby boy who has been enabled from birth is in trouble again. I know darn well that DH just wants to fly down there, scoop SS21 in his arms, say everything is going to be OK, and whisk him back home where he will be safe from himself and his own stupidity for another few days. SS21 desperately wants that as well.
Personally, I believe that may be the reason SS21 has consciously or unconsciously upped the loser ante. If he makes his situation bad enough, Daddy will just have to rescue him again! Right? Right??
Unfortunately, evil troll stepmother and REALITY have to dictate here. DH and I simply don't have the money, and SS21's parole office won't let him leave the state until he pays his court costs. Oh, the unfairness of it all! (I say thank God for the parole officer).
I am watching from the wings as DH tries to cope with SS21's downward spiral. It was bound to happen. I hope for the best, but fear that DH's guilt and enabling will once again drain our meager resources and put closer to the brink of financial ruin. Only time will tell...