For context, here's what my DH's adult children are up to since we've kicked them out of the house:

- SD18 is living with her bipolar BM about a hour away from us (too close), and has reconnected with her cocaine habit.
- SS21 continues to be addicted to booze and pot, and just got out of jail for assault and battery. He is planning to tell the judge at his sentencing that he was justified in beating the hell out of someone.
- SD24 (aka "the shit stirrer") continue to tell lies to the family about DH and me. The good news is that she has a job and hasn't stolen our family dog lately.

My anger issue right now is that DH continues to guilt-parent these adult brats, and giving them money is his method--like a drug to make his guilt feelings go away. We don't have any more money to give!!!! While he understands the reality that we have to pay off an enormous amount of debt (mostly due to him handing money and cars to his kids), giving money to his kids is an emotional thing--that they count on, by the way.

I was so proud of him when he refused to send bail to SS21 to spring him from jail. I thought "Wow, he's really getting it!" Then, the next day he tells me he wants to fly to Florida (where SS21 lives) to "provide moral support" to SS21 at his sentencing. WTF??? We don't have the money for that kind of trip!

Then he wants to pay for SD26 to fly to FL to provide more moral support to poor SS21, who saw it fit to almost kill someone with his fists. I start to boil and ask him "which of our bills should we not pay this month because he keeps handing over our hard-earned money to his adult brats?" These people have full-time jobs, by the way.

After that, he proposed that we pay for flights so SS21 and SD26 can attend a family wedding of a cousin. The he expects that we will cover their expenses at the wedding as well.

My mind boggles. Didn't he agree a couple of days before that we need to buckle down and SAVE money???

Today I find out that he has funneled $300 this month to SD20 (he has 5 adult kids). I am so pissed off I can hardly breathe! I feel as if DH is allowing our marriage, home, and family to sink into the quicksand, just because he feels compelled to keep shoveling money to his brats.

Really--this is like an addiction to cocaine. The difference here is that DH uses money to self-medicate away his guilt, instead of a drug. Handing money to his adult kids IS his drug. I fear the unless he gets a handle on the guilt that plagues him, I may have to leave this marriage to save myself.

The price is just too high.