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SMs without BioKids - Is Christmas depressing?

sammmx's picture

For me it is. We did the whole set up the Christmas tree, decorate the house, make Christmas goodies crap and BF was just so happy and brimming all the while. Me? It just made me feel more left out than ever. I just don't feel like part of the family and seeing them all enjoy Christmas pushes me further and further away. I feel like I'm celebrating Christmas alone. So depressing...


StarStuff's picture

I'm sorry that you feel that way. Is it a matter of that you just don't have kids yet, or you are unable to, or your BF doesn't want anymore? I feel that could make a difference in your feelings, as well as how you and the skids get along.

I don't have a problem with Christmas - SD8 and I have a good relationship and FDH and I are planning on TTC towards the end of next summer. I've always loved Christmas...getting together with family, seeing all the Christmas lights, and all the other fun activities that go along with it. Do you have close family or friends that you could do seasonal festivities with? Perhaps that would help you feel better.

Pinki3663's picture

I do not enjoy the holidays but I also do not have children or any extended family. My SO LOVES Christmas so I am really trying to be cheerful for his sake. To me, it is just another day, another season..

I wouldn't say it is depressing for me. More of a minor annoyance than anything. It use to be depressing. When I was a teenager and my mother and father would promise to come get me for visitation on Christmas day and then would "forget". Meanwhile all the other kids went home and I felt awkward because every year a staff member would have to miss Christmas with their family to stay with me at the group home. A couple years in, one staff member started taking me home for the weekends and holidays.

As for this Christmas I will go with the flow, buy gifts for the kids and SO and pretend to know what the hell I am doing.

Anywho78's picture

I used to LOVE Christmas! It used to be my favorite holiday...until 4 years ago.

SO has full custody of SS & SD. I have battled tooth & nail for my "traditional" tree versus BM Nasty's horrendousness that is her "family tradition" of crap ornaments including Sponge Bob, Scooby, Spider Man, Dora & other non-Christmas characters (I went into this in past blogs). Last year, I finally won that battle & we now have TWO for the SKids hideous decorations & one for the main living area. So...yay for my side.

However, after having been very closely involved with the Skids Christmas every year, I have come to hate it. Both Skids are ungrateful little twits that always have SOMETHING negative to say when they open gifts. I go out of my way, every year to get them things that they'd LOVE to have & instead of thank you's or at least some kind of nice behavior, I get behavior from them that is foreign & horrible. Christmas morning leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. SO & myself stress the need for thankfulness but it seems to fall on deaf ears.

We get the same crap for their birthdays as we do for Christmas so I've let SO know that this crappy ungrateful behavior has made me HATE the holidays & that next year, I plan on doing NOTHING. He can shop if he'd like, but I quite simply, cannot be bothered.

I don't think it has anything to do with me not being a BM (I wasn't one four years ago!!!) but rather the way that the Skids are. My nieces & nephews are GREAT as far as obvious enjoyment of their gifts, but my SKids are a different story all together. Sadly, I can no longer enjoy Christmas with my nieces & nephews without including my live-in ungrateful Skids. My own family has seen how they are & give me confused & sickened looks, yet, like SO, expect me to have them at EVERY function.


ConfusedStep's picture

Well, you can always enjoy that tree in your own way. Hmmm... I'm thinking sexy outfit (I see a bow somewhere, you are a gift after all) and he can unwrap you under the tree. Who wouldn't enjoy Christmas then?

Too much? Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I hope you feel a little better though.

Unhappily ever after's picture

I'll come too and skids and their dad can enjoy their time together. That is until the presents are opened and he is left answering the question
'" what else are you going to give us?"

Can we roast a goat and dance naked around it?

sonja's picture

Dang you just gave me a flashback. There were a couple xmases before our BS was born, where I did all the decorating and searched FAR and WIDE for SPECIFIC gifts.. but then seeing DH and SD open presents, I questioned why I was even there, although it was all happening at MY house. Stupid really... and I regret all that time and effort now. We ended up having our BS after those 2 times, but I expressed how left out I felt and that it felt stupid for me to be there... of course he didnt understand.

Most Evil's picture

I can totally relate. I have always been sad at the holidays especially now that my parents are all but gone. Dad died in Aug., mom in nursing home w/alzh. for 8 yrs. now.

Don't even get me started on SD BS.!!!

My advice is to buy yourself an appropriate present, don't wait for anyone else to do it. !!