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Some understanding -maybe

Sam2's picture

It's day five of Spring Break and I've hardly seen him though we are home most of the time due to a lot of closing and cancellations .   I've seen him in passing briefly as he emerges for food.   He went to pick up his first and last check for a long time and got the impression that the resturarant he was working at was closing permanently.  Called his dad in a panic.  Turned out he misunderstood we are deep cleaning the resuturant since we can't serve customers in the dining room.   Go figure. 

I haven't seen him but I have sure smelled him.   We came home from a drive, need to get out of the house briefly , and the smell was pretty strong.  I can't tell if its weed or incense but it was pretty strong.  Needless to say he suddenly opens the window in the basement and shoves a blanket under his door.   Last night around 10:30 the smell was also pretty bad.   The blanket is still shoved under his door.

He's spending most of the time asleep.  

His dad and I had a interesting talk a couple days ago.   Apparently what is factoring into his ignoring me is his mother telling him not to accept me.  Well what the heck.  Apparently becuase she's Mexican.   Needless to say I did tell his dad once again that me saying hi , good morning etc and not getting a reply was getting tiring and his dad brought up, once again that he never stopped trying with my daughter.   After a discussion , counseling and telling my daughter that she needed to be nice or get out.  She talks to DH, stays in the room when he's there and acknowledges him approrpriatley.  SS has gone to counseling, is still in couseling and has DH claiming he's has talked to SS.  Its been seven years and a roller coaster.  Needless to say just when it gets going good we go back to the turning around when I'm in the room, walking right past me to talk to his dad etc. 

I told his dad I do answer questions when SS asks them, I acknowledge him when he enters the house and shouts "I'm back" .  I offer him dinner, I often make enough dinner for him should he chose to have it as does his father.  A few times I've even gone downstairs and asked him if he wants to join us.   I am concerned when his dad says things likes he's really bummed he can't work.   I don't leave the room when he ocmes and sits with his dad.  That doesn't happen often.   I add comments to the discussion as appropriate.    I don't  greet him when he glares at me or comes up and freezes and talks to the dog when he comes up and hasn't realized I"m still in the house.   He pretty much exits his bedroom when we're not around.   

Mostly I think I"m tired of the roller coaster.    We'll talk , get along etc for awhile and then the silent treatment on his part.  He'll say hi, once and then go weeks without acknowledging a greeting.   


missginger's picture

It's amazing how parents don't teach thier children to be as nice, polite and respectful to stepparents as they would be to coworkers and even strangers they have interactions with due to their jobs. It just blows my mind!