So I've returned to work while the kids are home.   This Friday I got a text from my middle son.  He needed to talk.  I called him, he didn't answer so I called his sister.   This is what went down, my daughter ordered a pizza for lunch and went down a called SD that the pizza was here.  She came up and out of the blue told my son or at least he felt she talked to him, to stop assulting her dog.  He became very upsest.  He's autistic and would never hurt this dog.   Needless to say he spent the rest of the day in his room upset.   My daughter didn't feel comfortable asking SD about this comment as in the past she has been accused of being mean to these children and I have been accused of belittling her.  My daughter felt that this was situation that could easily go bad if she inquired on her own so she left it alone but we both felt it needed to be addressed as this is the second time something like this has happened.   I mulled it over and was frankly not sure how to bring it up either but felt it needed to be addressed so I brought it up this morning.  I mentioned I was just wondering what she meant by the comment as it appeared to come out of the blue.  She said she didn't say assult but she had heard someone was hitting her dog.  By the way this is the dog in previous post that she will claim is not her dog in terms of feeding, walking or general care.  She also claimed to have said it nicely.    I was like not a problem just trying to clarify some things.  She then wondered why they didn't bring it up with her.  I told that they were afraid as in the past when they've said things about these types of situations they've gotten in trouble and are seen as the bad guy.  Then I mentioned that my son is still processing the situation and that is why he is sitting with his body turned.   I did tell we're working on and that we all need to do better in these situations.   She then said something about ignoring her and such and I told her no we didn't want to go there , she persisted so I finally said well if that's how you want us to treat you,  I would think you would want us to be nice.  I did say no hard feelings and we need to move forward better.   Two hours later she went to work and both my daughter and I said good-bye have a good day.  Nothing.

Then tonight.  Saturday is hubby's night to cook.  He's preparing the dinner and she comes up and has dinner.  Guess she's not joining us for a meal.   I thought it would be a great time to start working on being together and working on the relationshlip.  Once again I feel that my kids get the talking to, are expected to work on it and that they are the only ones with a problem.    If she was mine, she would be sitting at the dinner table with all of us, not allowing her to eat before and go back downstairs.   So my dilema , do I bring it up with hubby and say I expected her at dinner and to not keep providing her an out.  My son will be at the table irregardless working on those social skills.