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More virtual family celebrations! I'm invited! YaHOO

SacrificialLamb's picture

Six months ago my middle-aged SDs scheduled a "family game night" on Zoom with BM, and asked DH to join.  DH said no.  I wrote about it here.

So now they want to do a "virtual family Thanksgiving" complete with a "family jeopardy game". Questions like "what kind of spuds did Grandma make?"

I was even invited!  Even though I am not family, not allowed in OSD's house. The sgkids would not know who I was.    Gee, why would they want me to play a family jeopardy game?  My guess is they want me to feel excluded again, and they have not had any opportunities in a long time.

BM was not on the invite list, but I am sure she will be sitting in OSD's kitchen when they start the virtual celebrations.  

I will NOT be participating and I am not going to decline the event ahead of time. Let them wonder if I show up or not, and be disappointed when their games are not as much fun because I am not there to make snide comments to.

Really, what middle-aged adults schedule virtual family jeopardy?  I've never seen them play games in persson.


JRI's picture

I can feel yoyr anger but think about participating.  After all,, you are a family m ember.  I know their tactics are disgusting but at least they invited you.  Id pour a BIG glass of wine and l laugh to myself.  Your DH will probably have a warm, fuzzy feeling.  Lol.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Are they playing virtual family jeopardy because trying to make normal conversation is too much work? And it sounds like "family" jeopardy is indeed a way to exclude you right to your face. Ignore the wh0res.

SacrificialLamb's picture

I had to laugh.  Their uncle, Dh's brother, responded he could not participate and then made it sound like he never heard from them till now. They are just playing a stupid game.

Kes's picture

I think I would do exactly what you are doing ie not collude with the "let's all kick Lamby" set up.  How does your DH feel about this invitation? 

tog redux's picture

Ignore the attention whores. 

First a pandemic first, my family is doing a Zoom get together since we are all separate for Thanksgiving. No Jeopardy. We might even just talk to each other. 

Dovina's picture

Nothing like the holidays that gets these princesses to try and scheme a new way to get to you. It must drive them insane that it just never works out for them. Such a shame that the evil SM Lamby is on to their games. They try to include you just so they can EXCLUDE you. What sh*tty SD,s !  Your no response but make them wonder keeps them  wondering hahahaha. Perfect response is no response.

You know them all too well.

You can play the host "what is an emotionally stunted middle aged witch"  answer "----------SDs names"

Harry's picture

No, you are not playing SK and BM games.  Why would any body do this.  Letting DH play Happy Family with BM.  
When DH divorce BM,  this Happy Family playing is gone for good. 

CLove's picture

Sounds like a setup alright. Although its more that you are the afterthought extra, vs the "main event".

Id bow out too, because, better things to do. My SIL is havinga  "lunch" for thanksgiving and evveryone else is invited. Not me or DH or Munchkin. Im cooking our own dinner so, not being included is better in this respect. Same for you.

TwoOfUs's picture

Oh geez. I feel for you.

For the first three months of the pandemic, DH's family did a Sunday afternoon Zoom EVERY DAMN WEEK.

Worse - I know they stole the idea from my family because we were at their house when our governor first shut everything down. They saw me doing the family Zoom my brother set up and said it looked like a cool idea...then proceeded to schedule one every frackin' week. 

The most annoying part? It was a necessity for my family. My brother is a tech/IT guy and set it up to check on everyone. My mom teaches, two siblings are in hospitality management, and my grandma who turned 90 this year had just sold her home of 40 years and moved into a residential facility. My brother works from home and is well he's literally making sure no one needs anything. We did these Zooms once a month to make sure our grandma was OK and to make sure all kids had all necessities.

DH's family? All wealthy, spoiled...and working government jobs or retired so every week it turned into drinking Sunday champagne and turning the camera around to show the feet by the pool...making jokes about how "rough this social distancing thing is..."

I got to where I found reasons to be out of the house on Sunday afternoons bc it was so distasteful to me.

Feel lucky about Thanksgiving. We have a brief Zoom with DH's family this evening to do our Christmas name draw...then a quiet long weekend together :-) 

SacrificialLamb's picture

So I messaged YSD43 and told her I would not be able to make it. She responded very concerned and asked what time would work better for me?  With her sister, father, aunt, uncle, cousins on the call, she's concerned about MY schedule?

So yes, for some reason I am central to the this whole family zoom. 

I think Dovina nailed it - they want to include me so they can exclude me.

tog redux's picture

Well, given the topic, you'd naturally be excluded, right? I mean, how the hell do you know what Grandma put in her stuffing at Thanksgiving? 

Dovina's picture

there was a haha button  "how the hell do you know what grandma put in her stuffing"  Too funny

SacrificialLamb's picture

Yes, it's trivia about their family. And of course, everyone else's spouse is family, except DH's.

DH seemed nervous this morning, and calmed down after I told him I messaged YSD that I would not be participating.   He said he knew they were up to something, but did not know what.   He's so conflict-averse that he worries they will cause a fight between us, and I believe most of the time that is their goal - they miss having power over our lives. DH is also so conflict-averse he's afraid to tell them to grow up and stop playing games.

ETA:  DH also said he is just getting on to say hi to the grandkids then saying he has to get back to cooking.

advice.only2's picture

Lol I would have called in and left my screen blank and only type in random sh*t from time to time to make them wonder WTF is going on.

queensway's picture

Sorry I just read about DH. Anyway this is priceless girl! DH's family is so f'n nutts!!!!

Stepdrama2020's picture

Excellent move. At least your husband is a good one, he knows their games.


Catmom024's picture

You are very wise not to take the bait.  They want to play "Family Jeopardy" and include you in the hopes of highlighting that you won't know the answers and therefore they are passive aggressively ostracizing you.

I'm so happy your DH gets it.