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I have to laugh....what goes around comes around

SacrificialLamb's picture

My DS is about to pop the question to his wonderful, gorgeous girlfriend. We are anticipating a winter wedding next year (we are in the south).

My SDs, in their 40's, have to loved to make me feel that I am not family. Either via exclusionary tactics or by outright telling me that I am not.

Well, that goes both ways.

Now they are concerned about this wedding.  Texting DH lots of questions, when it's not even been finalized yet.

Why do they care? If I am not family, then my son sure isn't family. In fact, OSD has not seen my son in almost 10 years.  

They care because they are afraid to be left out. It's ok for them to shun me, but since I am a second class citizen, they think I should be begging them to let me be part of their lives.  I've been silent a few years now, so they ought to know they no longer matter.

If you tell someone they are not family, don't be surprised when you end up not being family also.  LOL

 

Comments

SacrificialLamb's picture

We haven't really talked about it that much, but I don't think he wants to invite them.

Winterglow's picture

Make sure you lay it on thick that this is his wedding and, as such, is one of the Big Days in his life, that he should surround himself only with people he cares about and who care about him. Stress that he shouldn't feel obliged to invite anyone to please anyone other than himself and his bride. If he asks you who you're talking about, be blunt. 

Yes 3

bearcub25's picture

Congrats!

My skids are not invited to my adult bios functions.  SD is invited to limited things since she hasn't been a total jerk.  The SS' have been so completely horrible to me, my kids don't want them around.

ndc's picture

I certainly hope that neither you nor your son get any pressure to include them.  After all, you're not family!

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I would be pissed that these trouble-causing SDs know about the wedding before your son's soon-to-be-fiance does! You may have to refrain from telling your husband about anything they might fk up if they knkw about it.  

Survivingstephell's picture

I hope you tell them in simple language that what is good for them is good for you and that is exactly why they are not invited.  They are adults and can handle the truth.  Facts and truth are what I would do. I don't have to worry about this, but if I did there would be no holding back my tongue after what they put me thru.  

SteppedOff's picture

Ignore them!

Enjoy this exciting time with your son. They don't deserve response, consideration, invite, nor the time of day. Ignore them...it will make them crazy.

Smile

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Congratulations, Lambs!

If your DS does not want those twunts at his wedding, he should not invite them. Period. Those horrid hags can suck rocks. That have been sitting at the bottom of an over-populated koi pond that has not been cleaned for a decade or so.

And your DH needs to zip his lips. "Expecting a proposal soon" is TMI as far as the SDs are concerned. 

Kiss 2

Dovina's picture

Congrats!

You do not want those sucky SD's ruining your sons wedding. Remember you are not family so why would they be invited anyway. 

I would remind DH to not mention what is happening in your family.  These middle aged women will just bring negative toxic energy to whats supposed to be a happy joyous occassion.

I am so excited for you!