Christmas Gifting
I am here as a remarried Mom of 3. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and my children live with their Dad. When the kids were little they adored my husband and his family. They'd come down, we'd have find together. As they grew older their heads have been filled with alot of false information, I won't go into detail, it's a long story to get into and explain. Fast forward a few years and now I have a 19 year old adult child who my husband, her step dad would do anything for. He loves all of my children as his own. This Christmas I could tell he was kind of hurt. All through the years he has never gotten so much as a happy birthday from them, but I would buy him gifts from them. I would make sure they included him and explain to them why, because he loves and cares for them just as much as their dad and I do. My daughter sent down a bag of gifts for me, but nothing for him. I feel so incredibly bad. He's always gone out of his way to make their birthdays special and holidays. How do I politely ask her not to send me things for Christmas if she is going to purposefully leave him out? Can someone give advice?
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My SS20 came over last night,
My SS20 came over last night, and he just brought a gift for DH - which was fine with me. The only thing I think SS owes me is respect as his father's wife, and I get that from him. He was alienated from DH for several years and this is the first gift he's given him in 6 years, so I was thrilled that happened.
I can see if he was trying to purposely exclude me that it might be upsetting, but I don't think he is. I'd advise your DH to stop trying to win them over and take many steps back, if he feels they are intentionally excluding him. You should say something to them as well. Have you done that?
They include him off and on.
They include him off and on. And it's not that he's trying to "win them over" he loves them as his own and would do absolutely anything for them. He feels more disrespected than anything. He's never overstepped boundaries with them, but I don't think it's too far fetched of him to ask to be acknowledged. After, he makes a majority of our income since I pay child support and if it weren't for him they wouldn't have all the things they have when they are here. I would never want my children to disrespect a step mother if my ex were re&married. I would expect them to treat her with the same respect that they should be giving me. In my opinion there's no excuse for excluding anyone. They have several other steps in their family that they don't do this to.
I think I need to have the discussion of if they do not want to include him in the gift giving, then just don't give me a gift either. I don't care whether I get a gift either way anyways, I'd rather just have time with them.