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SS doesn't come over anymore

ReginaPhalange's picture

This is a follow up on my previous blogs.

So after SS18 returned the stolen rings and DH got on him for not responding to texts and being responsible, etc., it had been a week since SS returned the rings.  

This is what I texted SS:

"We need to have a serious talk.  You need to come clean and tell us why you did it.  No coming over until then.  Let us know when you want to talk.  Ok?"

There has been no communication since then.  It's been 3 weeks.  SS hasn't texted.  DH hasn't texted SS.  I know BM knows whats going on and she hasn't reached out to DH - not that I expect her to.  I guess I'm just really disappointed that both parents are letting this go.  While I'm relieved that SS isn't coming over anymore, I still want him to explain and apologize and I feel that his bio parents should get on his ass for what he did.  I know that both of them won't.  

I was telling my friend about the situation and she told me that the last time SS was at her house (while we were all hanging out), he borrowed her iPhone charger and that night it went missing.  So basically, SS stole her brand new iPhone charger.

A little background, BM has sent me emails over the years about the way I handle SS.  She says all I have to do is tell him it's not ok, ground him from video games for the day and move on.  She says "he responds really well to that".  

I'm SO frustrated!

Comments

Letti.R's picture

I can understand that you need  and are due an explanation from SS, but you opened the door to his staying away.
You tied the explanation to his ability to come over to your house,  on top of letting SS set the timeline - and that IMO was two huge mistakes.
Easier for him  to stay away than face the consequences or explain.

It is also rather sad that his parents wont make him face the music, but you know from your own experience and  that of others, who you are dealing with.
SS may be able to avoid you, continuing with petty theft may mean that down the line a court will not be ignored...

tog redux's picture

Agreed - especially since SS is 18 and there is no custody order saying he has to come over anymore. 

I also don't think that a stepparent is going to have any meaningful effect on an 18-year-old's development if both of his parents don't care about his behavior. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Congratulations!

Since his parents won't hold him accountable, this is the best possible outcome. Just keep in mind that step life abhors peace, so he likely will turn up again. Be prepared for that eventuality.

Harry's picture

There is no way to explain this. Except that SS has to admitted he is a bad person.  He stole the rings to hurt you and your DS.  He such a loser he could not earn any awards in life.  He steals to hurt people.  You can buy a nice multi charger for $25 .  

You are better off with him staying away.  His parents are not going to do anything,  except the talk. 

Ispofacto's picture

He'll wait it out and then show up again just to demonstrate to you that he can.  He must have the final word.