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I never get o do this, Sorry it may get long

RedneckAngel's picture

OMG, I only sometimes get a few minutes to read and comment, I never get a chance to get shit off my chest on here. I love reading when I get a chance, somethings folks on here I go through I have no idea how yall survive, I commend you, greatly.

I can't say that I have a lot of venting to do about my skids, it has had it's moments at times, but I can't say any different than my bios. Really it's just kids being kids and now they are all growing up and together we are a family.

I still have shit that I deal with though....I'm actually just a disaster over some things right now. OK, Hope this doesn't get too long, but BM has always been one of those call all the time or text on a too regular basis, she usually does this when I'm not around DH, also I do think it has dwindled waaaaayyyyy down. Honestly, I've dealt with that so long I don't even know if I care that much anymore. It bothered me mostly because the kids lived with us and were visitors at her house so I never figured out why so much conversation, except the few I have overheard or walked up on were normally about her and not the kids anyways.

She used to call me too, I didn't really mind, I've always been as involved with my skids as with my bios, but now she isn't working, health related, but for some reason, there is not much else she is limited to. Ya know can go whenever and wherever, but to work. OK, I do feel bad and for the sake of my skids I want her to be healthy, they love me so much and I know this, but I know they sure love their mom and I have always encourage this regardless of the bullshit I have swallowed over the past years.

I just can't help but get upset that even though between her and DH they agreed no CS, and even though he had custody of 1 and she the other child, which both lived with us full time and I'm not complaining about that but no matter what we pay for and that is medical, school everything and clothes (BM does buy her clothes too and pays dental and vision) but we don't get to claim on taxes and then she asked DH for money several months ago, which almost caused our divorce, but SD needed glasses, well I blew because ok, she don't misss a nail or hair ummmm how bout paying for just one thing other than clothes.

I'm starting to worry he is giving money otherwise too and SD only goes over maybe 5 days a month at most, so I'm hoping my worries are wrong, I can't ask, he has told me in the past that he is sick of his X always coming up in conversation, I don't want it too, but damn, I'm sick of the "back burner". This woman honestly does no wrong, WTF am I missing. I would need to do a Video Chat to get all the stories out, but then on the other hand she knows I love my skids and she says she is thankful, and when SS's son was born in no way did she exclude me, she was the person who handed him to me and said he is yours too....I just want to scream, but I'm not sure if 2nd fiddle with my husband is where I want to be, he and I always do without for these kids and I don't mind, but I would like to see the "other" parents do some suffering too.


RedneckAngel's picture

I will admit, I'm feeling like the child right now. I did finally "blow a fuse" yesterday about being tired of doing without and working so hard. If I do ask, it will cause an argument that I honestly don't know how it will end or if I have the energy. I know how it would end if I got an honest answer and it's not the one that I want to hear. I've made my mind up if I were to find out that he is giving money, then it's time for me to move on and I don't even want to argue about it, at that point, there is nothing to argue about.

We keep different accounts, he mandates one and I mandate the other...we each have access to both accounts and I've considered lurking through his or calling the bank, but I'd just feel better to hear it from him. dumb I know. I guess I'm just "shocked" right now.

bearcub25's picture

Technically you are asking about finances and that is what couples are supposed to talk about.

I understand the BM calls not about skids. My BM does this, but not as bad as she used to, I chuckle anymore to see her so desperate for DSOs attention.