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Need some STalk wisdom on the eve of skid weekend

queenofthedamned's picture

Sigh. Skid weekend is almost here. We have been having a problem with skid(s) peeing on the toilet seat. In the ONE bathroom we all share.

Both skids have been guilty of this in the past. But skid2 lives here full time, except for EOWE at BM's, and it is rarely an issue with him unless he's just come back from BM's hovel, where they live like little unsupervised wildebeasts in filth. When we do occasionally find pee on the seat and he's the only kid in the house, DH or myself will march the little turd in the bathroom with paper towels and cleanser and make him clean the toilet, which he generally does with no complaint and an apology. Easy peasy.

It gets infinitely more complicated when both skids are here. Pee makes a waaaaayyyyy more frequent appearance. Like, 2-3 times a day as opposed to maybe once a week when it's just skid2. I'm pretty sure the main culprit is skid1, since he lives there in the hovel most of the time, and BM's idea of cleanliness is next to filthiness. He's also a disrespectful jerk who thinks he is perfection personified, and cannot admit to doing anything wrong, ever. While skid2 will admit being the culprit, skid1 will deny it even if we've just seen him exit the bathroom.

Anyway, I am pretty much disengaged from skid1. I do not care for his attitude or the way he treats those around him, so on skid weekends it is up to DH to address the piss problem. His idea of addressing it is to try to get a confession (lol - fat chance) and make the culprit clean it. But since skid1 will never admit it, DH ends up cleaning and then going off on the kids. Which accomplishes zilch. The infamous STalk "talking to" (TM), with no real consequences.

I told DH that I won't be tolerating it anymore. I WILL re-engage if I have to, because this is my home too and I think it's disgusting that people think they can come in here and pee all over it. This is all a rather round about way of asking, what would you do? What consequences would you like your husband to hand down, if this were a regular occurrence in your home?

My personal opinion is, if they cannot remember to lift the seat - which boys half their ages can remember - then they are not mature enough to handle video games (seems to be their only real currency). I would like DH to warn them before they walk in the door that if it happens EVEN ONCE they BOTH lose gaming privileges for the rest of the weekend. He is pretty clueless when it comes to consequences, so if I can make a valid argument for this, and why he should stick to it, he'll probably agree. What do you think?

Comments

moeilijk's picture

For skid2, I'd make a positive consequence. Each day that he doesn't pee on the seat - including when he does pee on the seat but cleans it up without being told - he gets video games for the timeframe that is now normal. So you *expect* him to keep pee off the seat, and he *expects* his current video game time.

For skid1, I'd make it negative. Each time you find pee on the seat, he loses 30 minutes of video games that day. If he eventually has no video game time, then he goes to bed 30 minutes earlier.

Hopefully that works to inspire both skids to keep pee off the seat. I think if skid2 is cleaning up after skid1, you'll hear about it.

StepKat's picture

You can buy a sticker that’s meant for the tub or water. Turn the water off to the toilet, drain it and place the sticker in a place that the kids can ‘aim’ for. I also like the ‘leaving notes’ approach. Make a small sign that fits the back of the toilet that says “LIFT THE SEAT BEFORE YOU PEE”. Laminate it and stick it on the back of the toilet. These are two forms of positive reinforcement (turning a bathroom break into a game of hit the sticker) you could try. The taking away video games for either of them is a good form of negative reinforcement (take away something for a bad action).

Ninji's picture

I do not share a bathroom with skids but I did get sick of it smelling like an outhouse right next to the living room. Skids must now clean bathroom every single weekend.

Maybe you can make them take turns cleaning up the pee Every time and make them start cleaning the bathroom.

moeilijk's picture

Gak LadyFace, now I'm contorting myself in my imagination to try to figure that out....

furkidsforme's picture

We have a messy pee-er too. Sad

DH would not enforce any rules and I hated the fighting so I hired a maid that DH pays for. Problem solved.

FML's picture

I would make them both pee outside and lock my bathroom door. But I guess I'm a bitch. It's not like skids shower anyways.