I am feeling so much better. My meds have kicked in and I don't have a foggy head anymore. My therapist has seen an improvement and mentioned it last night. We are going to hold steady on everything for a while and see what happens. Dh and I are still separated. We stopped dating for a while but the last 3 weeks we have been going out and having fun. Ds and dd are doing great. I hate to admit this but it helps that dh has her 50/50. It gives me a break and allows me to work on me. I hit the gym, go to a book club, shopping and just try to do things for me and spend time with ds. I no longer have hate towards ss. I feel icky and that it was wrong what he did but I no longer feel the anger and passion about hurting him like I did before. I'm making progress.