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Dhs kids refusing to visit

Ram's picture

SO dh let bm and his kids know I will be coming around and staying with dh and them on the weekends while we try to mend our family. Well his kids called dh and told him they wouldn't come over anymore if they had to see me. Dh told them they had no choice. Well guess what? Dh hasn't seen his kids his last 2 visitation times and his attorney told him not to fight it because bm would win. Dh had sent her some texts reassuring her I wouldn't be around the kids anymore during my sickness and now they can be used against him. He acts like this is their choice and he is okay but he is constantly checking their social media. His dd is saying her dad abandoned them. Dh isn't sleeping and he is exhausted and stressed out by this. I feel so bad. I don't understand why they won't give me a chance!

Comments

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

My DH has had to do this several times. The cops have always enforced it. He did it several times when he was the NCP and twice after he became the CP. So yes, some police will enforce a CO. But in this case, he DH must have sent some damning information to his ex about the OP, especially if his own lawyer is telling him not to fight it.

Rags's picture

On several occasions we requested either the police or the sheriff's department to collect SS from SpermGrandHag when she failed to put the kin on the plane on schedule. Only once was our request refused and that was because my FIL could not be there.

We never lived nearer than ~1200miles to SpermLand so we were not located conveniently to pick the kid up at the end of visitation with the SpermClan. The CO clearly stipulated that each party had to facilitate support of visitation travel by dropping off and picking the kid up from the airport. We never failed to get the kid on his scheduled visitation flights in the 16+ years of our CO. SPermGrandHag missed getting the kid home on schedule ~10-ish times over the years. Always a BS claim that he traveled on our time and not the SpermIdiot's time (clearly stipulated in the CO that visitation began when the kid was either put on an airplane or delivered directly to the SpermIdiot and ended at the same time X days later), or the flight was canceled and she could not get him on a flight for several days, or she got stuck in traffic and they missed the flight and she could not get him scheduled out for several days. We usually found a replacement flight leaving within a few hours and on the occasions were there was an extended delay SS would stay with my ILs.

That used to set SpermGrandHag off about how it was not fair that he could not stay with her. We never tolerated her manipulative crap.

SpermGrandHag had a changing understanding of the CO and would periodically attempt to return the kid late. My DW's BFF's father was the Sheriff and when he lost his 5th re-election campaign he was hired to their hometown Police Chief. We got all of the support we ever asked for as long as one of DW's family was there when law enforcement collected the kid.

It used to embarrass the hell out of SpermGrandHag when we would have the kid collected by the police during her church services, at family reunions, family meals at restaurants, and in front of her house with her neighbors prairie dogging and gossiping whenever she failed to return the kid on schedule.

MollyBrown's picture

Maybe her attorney knows what she did. She has said she said some really bad things to the kid and he thinks it would look bad in court.

MollyBrown's picture

She has never said. She has only said she acted really bad to the child and that's why the husband moved out.

MollyBrown's picture

But in truth black hole, truther and now ram have posted today. Interesting. I do wish the grandma of the twins would come back.

twoviewpoints's picture

As old as at least the kid with the snake is (15-16), I think the lawyer knows the court will likely give the kid the option of choice. And if Dad that teen on this one, Dad can pretty much count that relationship over.

With OP totaling going meltdown nuts on the teen, and Dad texting about it, OP might be ordered to 'prove' she's now stable. Something I doubt OP would agree to nor want to volunteer to do. Long expensive fight for a teen visitation that will make her home life a living hell if Dad wins and kid has to come. I also doubt Dad wants o put either OP or the kid through all that. Sure he old kid kid had no choice, but kid told Dad 'nope, watch me'.

The middle kid is between 13 and 14ish and the youngest is a daughter 12-13. These are not little kids.

OP, did you ever talk to Dad about getting the kid in counseling? Just because you feel better , doesn't mean the kid sees this all as you do.

Maxwell09's picture

Why did he tell his kids that you would be over? Why don't he just get them and live through the weekend with you there? He gave them a heads up and they took advantage of that; on top of that he isn't running over there with court order in hand to get them either. Stop worrying about him making peace with his kids, that's what he needs to do and nothing you say or do will help. Let them be, and just be his wife.

Acratopotes's picture

Ram - why are you even thinking of seeing the skids... they drove you bonkers and into depression, you can't get over the past and no therapy would help....

simply do not try mending it, wait till skids are out of the house

Acratopotes's picture

oh do I've not lost it between the crazies of late....thought for a minute I had her in the wrong family...

still wondering why would she allow skids close to her again?

Acratopotes's picture

agree way to soon..... she should wait till skids leave the house - not that long and then just have a relationship with DH