Our marriage counselor got it right
I got to thinking yesterday and decided to broach the subject with our marriage counselor and I sent her an email. She brought it up and dh was wishy washy saying that when his kids are 18 and grown we can live together. She asked him why and then proceeded to ask him why he would abandon his grown kids when they are at the fun age and need him the most for life advice as they start out on their own. She told him that makes him a horrible father. She said waiting till they are grown to push them away with me is worse than doing it when they are underage. She told him that they won't accept me anymore at 18 then they do now. Then she told him that she can't help us and have a good night. Dh just sat there stupefied. Once he found his voice again they talked about ways to make this work now. I never said a single word! He was apologizing to me and squeezing my hand promising to make this work. His plan that she asked him, what an ideal plan would be, is that they will move back in, in July when his lease is up. He is going to let bm know now so she can pull all her crap and get it out of her system and let the kids know now and he will enforce visitation. They won't have a choice to come and of course counseling with him and the kids. He also wants to make sure I am there every weekend he has his kids so that we can bond and the kids can see I am healthy again. When he finished his ideal plan she asked him if he was going to do that and he said yes. I've already gotten a copy of the email he sent bm this morning letting her know!!!