}:) Mwahahaha!!! }:)

So I had typed a whole long thing about my experience and my stupid computer decided that it wasn't going to let me post it. lol

So here is the shortened version:

I am the oldest and only girl. I have 3 brothers. My parents divorced almost 11 years ago. Does it truly affect me? Not really. I still talk to my mother, its hard as I find her at fault for many things that have happened in the past. I don't talk to my dad at all, and that is due to a feud that him, his wife, and his step son began with my grandmother (my dad's mom).

You see, My father was quick to anger and often raised his hand in anger. He would call us names (to my recollection, Shit for brains was once of his favorites), throw tools at us (screw drivers, ratchets, anything really). My mother once told me that my father used to treat her badly but once she started having children his attention turned to us. She never really tried to stop my father's abuse. So really, when they announced they were divorcing it did not surprise us kids. Everyone else was shocked, but they had no clue that our home was really hell.

I was 20 years old when my mother moved out. My middle brother moved with my mother, the older brother had been kicked out prior to due to a fist fight between him and my dad. My youngest bro ended up being bounced between my mom and dad. And of course, the abusive ways of my father still were going on with my youngest bro. But what is sickening is that my dads wife seemed to really enjoy my brother's mistreatment and would add fuel to the ever raging fire within my father.

I did not care for the new women in my fathers life as he was cheating on my mother with this women before the split. I indeed screamed at my dad :"I don't want to meet your whore" the first time he was caught sneaking her to our house. Soon after I moved out.

Years later we repaired our fractured relationship (my father and I, since his new wife did not want him to speak to me).
But again it is fractured. Part of it I blame on my father and part of it I blame on his wife.
I don't cause trouble for either of them, they do just fine with causing it themselves.

The biggest issue I face is jealousy. But not how you may think.
You see, I am jealous of the way he treats his step kids. He treats them way better than he ever treated his own kids! He has never raised a hand to them, thrown objects at them, or called them horrible names. Now, I don't want you to think that I want my dad to do the things he did to us to them.
I do believe that he has not done it because he knows his wife wont put up with it. But I cant help but be upset at them. My dad's step kids of course do not speak to me very often, and have no clue about my jealousy. They do know about the abuse me and my brothers suffered.

And no, my father has not changed. He is starting to become his old angry self once more. It always seemed that the only way my father could deal with stress, was by lashing out at the ones around him.

So that is my experience being an adult step kid.